In a promotion for a Danish grocery store called Priss, shoppers who were willing shop in the buff, were rewarded with a shopping spree worth 2000 Danish kroner, or about 400 US Dollars. Naturally, most of the shopper went (literally) balls out and snatched up (see what I did there?) as much booze that their nutty (zing!) nude shopping trip would allow. A strategy that I myself would have employed, if my dignity came with a price tag that read “Hot Buy At Only 2000 Kroner!”.
In other news, this video is NSFW, NSFL, and is not going to get you hot in any way. Unless you’re into desperate, pasty Danish people with potbellies, and small penises.
All the “action” starts at about 50 seconds in. You have been warned.
Whiskey Dick No. 69. Whiskey flavored lubricant by Epic Meal Time. $11.99.
Never have the words “Proudly Made in America!” rung more true. The fucked up foodies of Epic Meal Time have added “boozy massage oil makers” to their resume with the introduction of Whiskey Dick No. 69, a whiskey flavored personal lubricant. It’s also won a bunch of weirdo awards like, the Triple Gold Medal Award at the 10th Annual Great American Sex & Drinking Festival in Tennessee, and won the Quadruple Gold Medal at the Pan-European Schmiermittel Festival in East Berlin, Germany, the Ellensburg Rodeo Hoedown, Washington (who knew Ellensburg was so sexy), and Kanamara Matsuri (the Festival of the Steel Phallus) in Japan.
Below is the epic commercial video for Whiskey Dick No. 69.
Whiskey Dick No. 69. A commercial for Epic Meal Time’s new Whiskey flavored personal lube.
Death by orgasm. The 10 speed (!) Scorpion Bullet Vibrator. About $20.
Coffin shaped storage box included! I’m also pretty sure that at 1:30 in this demo video for The Scorpion, that this creepy little sex toy might also get you off via a Slayer riff somewhere between speeds 8 & 10. It’s also possible I might be drunk.