A Dangerous Drunken Screwball


Hello Gorgeous! Mickey Rourke @ The BAFTA Awards, 2010… 0

Posted on February 22, 2010 by DJC


Mickey Rourke at BAFTA, 2010.

Here’s Mickey Rourke wearing the dude version of an Updo on his head at the BAFTA Awards last night. That is all.

Woof… 2

Posted on February 16, 2010 by DJC

DogFetishMaskTwoTone
Two-tone dog fetish hood. By Stockroom. For Triple G.

I was geeking out watching the AEE wrap-up on G4 this weekend (yes, really) and thought I would share one of my personal highlights of the show, the two-toned dog fetish hood by sex accessory maker, Stockroom. Pair the hood with four of these deluxe padded fist mits and your bedroom becomes something straight out of a David Lynch flick. Grrrrrrrrr…

Sears ‘75: Shelly Hack Cameltoe Attack… 0

Posted on February 11, 2010 by DJC

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Page 124 of the Sears 1975 Spring/Summer Catalog. Shelly Hack not included with purchase.

This week we pay a visit to the blondes on page 124 of the 1975 Sears Spring/Summer Catalog. Former Charlie’s Angel Shelly Hack is back again to sex up the Sears 1975 catalog along with a bare-midriff top and, a little cameltoe. If you use your imagination. And your imagination wants to be used by Shelly Hack. Trust me.

*Programming note: I know I missed Sears ‘75 last week, but I don’t punch clocks  or people. I’ll make it up to you somehow baby. I promise. By the way, can I borrow some money for some ass gas? Just click the Paypal link on the top of the page. It’s easy. Did you lose weight? I love you.

Sears ‘75: Look Ma! No Cameltoe…! 1

Posted on January 28, 2010 by DJC

sears-1975-Junior-bazaar 2
Bodysuits from Sears Body Suit Shop. $5.97 & 8.97 respectively.

These cameltoe free, snap-crotch flashbacks come from page 213 of the 1975 Sears Fall/Winter catalog. Snap crotch!

Quentin Tarantino On The Golden Globes Red Carpet… 0

Posted on January 20, 2010 by DJC

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The Q walks the Golden Globes Red Carpet with Melanie Laurent, who played Shoshana, the Nazi killing theater owner in Inglourious Basterds.

Quentin Tarantino: What’s so funny Mel?

Melanie Laurent: I’m not laughing, I’m vamping. There’s a difference. Your Tux is ridicul…er, don’t be ridiculous.

Q: What did you just say?

Melanie: What? Sorry, did you say something Q?

Q: Did you just call my Tux ridiculous?

Melanie: Oh look, isn’t that Mira Sorvino?

Q: Really? Where? Hold on, does this Tux make me look fat?

Melanie: Oh NO. You look fantastic. Hahahahaha!

Q: What’s so funny now?

Melanie: Nothing Q. I always laugh when I’m nervous…or standing next to someone who likes to wear their elegant pajamas in public.

Q: Pajamas? I’ll have you know that this Tux is a perfect blend of East meets West couture made especially for me, Quentin Tarantino! ALRIGHT?

Melanie: Okay, Q. If I say I like your Tux, can I still play “Sexy Assailant 3″ in Kill Bill 3?

Q: No.

Melanie: Hahahaha! Your Tux is ridiculous! And I also thought Jackie Brown was a  trite piece of shit. Damn! I feel so much better.

Q: Wait, is that Pam Grier? Hey Pam, I want to introduce you to the soon-to-be-has-been actress, Melanie Laurent. ALRIGHT!?

Pam: Quentin, what the Bruce Lee hell are you wearing? Did someone die? Or did you just get back from your monthly visit to Kabukicho and simply didn’t have time to change?

Q: Nobody died, ALRIGHT? ALRIGHT!? Fuck! Where is Christina Hendricks and her enormous rack when you need them. Oh, wait. There they are


Sex Doll That Wants To Hold Your Hand… 0

Posted on January 13, 2010 by DJC

RoxyRobotHandHoldingSex
Roxxxy, a True Companion Doll. She will have sex with you, hold your had after and then go to sleep and snore.

Douglas Hines, founder of N.J.-based True Companion, said his new sex-doll Roxxxy can carry on simple conversations. Hines says that “sex only goes so far – then you want to be able to talk to the person.” Roxxxy is able to communicate via a connected laptop that comes with the doll. Hines says that enhancements to the dolls verbal capabilities will come with periodic updates via the Internet, much in same way that you update your iPhone or other data driven devices.

Hines’ dolls can be built with different personality types. While Roxxxy might say something like “I love holding your hand”, the “Wild Wendy” doll may ask you “what are you going to do with that hand?”. Booiing? Maybe not so much.

True Companion robots will run from $7,000 – $9,000 and Hines says he will be shipping orders out starting in the early spring.

True Companion is also developing a male sex robot called Rocky. Rocky will be available in both gay and hetero versions.

Some NSFW video of a demonstration with Roxxxy here.

Swinging Couple Looking For Good Times… 1

Posted on January 11, 2010 by DJC

Swingers
Swinging North Carolina couple looking for good times. He enjoys Bi, unless another man is involved. She enjoys Bi because her husband tells her she better enjoy it.

Source.

For WHY??? My New Pink Button… 0

Posted on January 06, 2010 by DJC

MyNewPinkButton
My New Pink Button. Temporary dye for your labia. $29.99.

You might remember a while back I blogged about how you could color your coochie like a M*therf%cking rainbow. Well now, you can dye your labia to match your sweet pink muff.

My New Pink Button is a dye that temporarily restores color to your tunnel of love. The “Bettie” color will make your girlie parts look like your favorite lipstick (!) while the “Audrey” will give your vagina a “bold, burgundy-pink” color.

More via My New Pink Button.com.

Thanks!: RDK.


New Product Alert!: Coming Soon – The Hood Thong… 0

Posted on January 04, 2010 by DJC

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The Hood Thong by Jeannie Han and Umlaut Brikauski.

Be the first to get your own Hood Thong by submitting your Hood Thong request here. Hood Thong!

Dating Site Bio: Ur Doing It Wrong… 0

Posted on December 21, 2009 by DJC

Picture 8
Dating site bio: FAIL!

If you have to mention that your vegeena is clean in your dating site bio, it probably isn’t. It’s also likely that if you can’t actually spell the word Vagina, you might not have one. Clean or otherwise. True story.

Link via Reddit.

Sears ‘74: One Of Charile’s Angels in Footsies… 0

Posted on December 02, 2009 by DJC

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Posy print nightmares nightgowns.

Just a quick note on this weeks Sear’s ‘74 entry as this photo is giving me a case of the bed-spins. And sadly (and quite unbelievably) I’m not drunk. If the chick modeling item #1, the footed two-piece erection killing sleepwear, looks as though like you might have masturbated to her before, you would be correct. As well as somewhat pathetic and very lonely.

Posy sleepwear model #1 from page 177 of the Fall/Winter 1974 Sears Catalog, is actress Shelly Hack. Hack is probably best known for her brief role on Charlie’s Angels. Hack’s fictional Bostonian, Tiffany Wells became Charlie’s #5 Angel, replacing Kate Jackson for one season in 1980.

More polyester blend madness from Sears next Wednesday that will absolutely! may or may not involve Ted Williams, guns and/or He-Man chairs. Stay tuned…

Underwear that Not Fun To Wear: Bra and Panties With GPS… 1

Posted on November 23, 2009 by DJC

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GPS embedded underwear by Lindelucy.

The Bra and Panties outfitted with a GPS device, designed by Brazilian Lucia Lorio will run you $800$1100 bucks. Having piece of mind knowing where you’re “piece” is at all times? Priceless…

Thanks! WOW.

Inky Grampy Panties… 0

Posted on November 21, 2009 by DJC

TattooedWhat
Tattooed Grampa doesn’t care for shirts. Or underpants…

There are two things you need to know about this photo:

1: The underpants you think you see on Grampa above is actually a tattoo.

2: The entire photo is NSFW and can be viewed after the jump…

Read the rest of this entry →

The Real Dirty Boulevard… 0

Posted on November 21, 2009 by DJC

PenisShadow
Full frontal shadows.

That is all.

Thanks!: Wow.

Joshua Danger Will Make You Sex With Him… 2

Posted on November 19, 2009 by DJC


Joshua Danger, I Will Make You (Sex With Me), 2009.

Joshua Danger is a digital filmmaker, writer, arsonist, murderfly and possibly boring-as-fuck. At least that’s what his Twatter says. True story.

More on Danger!, here.

Source.

Color Your Cootchie Like a M*therf%@king Rainbow…! 0

Posted on November 19, 2009 by DJC

BettyBox
Fun Betty. Hair color for the hair down there. Color lasts about a month. $14.99.

Bush is back! These pubic hair dye kits come with everything you need to make your crotch area more interesting. The Malibu Betty kit comes with Bridal themed blue dye and dove and heart stencils. The Fun Betty is a “natural looking” hot pink. Betty even makes a product for men. Enough said.

More here.

McQueen’s Monster Shoe… 0

Posted on November 17, 2009 by DJC

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Alexander McQueen’s Monster Shoe for Spring/Summer 2010.

Giddayupp! Designer Alexander McQueen debuted multiple versions of his 12 inch high “Monster Shoe” during his Spring/Summer 2010 runway show in Paris.

Check out the whole show here.

Forget the G String, Meet the C String… 0

Posted on November 13, 2009 by DJC

CSTRING
The C String. $24.00

Chips Ahoy! And I thought most G Strings looked like eye-patches! Anyway, this little cooter-patch (thanks, AFJ) is called the C String, a new, skimpier take on the G String. The most frightening thing about the C String is that the tip of the $24 (!) “panties” might would absolutely end up in my escape-hatch only (yes, really) hole. True (although I have no basis for my statements) story.

More here.

Source.

Sears ‘74: Twin Sheet Set By My Buddy Weiser… 4

Posted on November 11, 2009 by DJC

BudweiserBeddingSears1974FallWinterCatalog
Budweiser Bedding. Sears 1974 Fall/Winter Catalog. For Jim McD.

I used to date a guy in High School that had these sheets. Now, if you read into that last nightmarish statement, you get three possible takes on what it might imply. That said, let me address your concerns immediately:

No, I never had sex on that bed with that boy. That, Monica Lewinsky.

My 16 year old boyfriend didn’t have a job. Which means he didn’t buy these sheets for himself. Yes, he had the coolest parents ever.

Even at the tender age of 15, I was already too advanced to be susceptible to the mature allure of the Budweiser Sheets. The Budweiser Tall in a can? Not so much. True story.

Next week’s Sears ‘74 will be our biggest awe-inspiring, flashback inducing pictorial yet. Stay tuned…

The Left Handed Stranger…? 0

Posted on November 10, 2009 by DJC

SexPositionsfortheLonely
Solo Sexual Positions.

I’m five for twelve on this list. Not counting The Sylvia Plath. Not today anyway.

Source.



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