Note to self: Never show up to a show in São Paulo after canceling a show in São Paulo that your fans waited 3+ hours (and paid hundreds of dollars, ahem, dólares), not to see. I’m just sayin’…

via: Blabbermouth.

In what was undoubtedly a huge relief for the makers of Jack Daniels, Keith Richards told Rolling Stone magazine that the rumors regarding his recent breakup with booze are false…:

The rumors of my sobriety are greatly exaggerated. And we’ll leave it at that.

I don’t know about you but, I’m pretty sure booze is what’s keeping Keef so well preserved. If Keef gave up the hooch, he would completely disintegrate. And he knows it. Good call Keef. Lucky for you, Jack is always there take you back…

Okay, I admit it. There is absolutely no truth behind my sensational headline (take that Nickelback!) however, that was the first thing that popped into my head after seeing this photo of Nicholas Cage on the set of his new (sigh) movie The Sorcerer’s Apprentice (WHY?) in Tribeca.

More photos of Nick devouring a pickle here.

I know it’s not breaking news that people who show up for a Sarah Palin book signing aren’t actually rocket scientists, but the fact that they also don’t know JACK about her kind of is. True story.

First, tennis ace Andre Agassi shocked his fan fans when he went public about his fling with Crystal Meth in 1997. Anyway, since Agassi’s opened his confessional booth to the public, he finally decided to come clean about his awesomely bad 80′s hair, which was actually a wig. Shocking! Meh.

Agassi’s book, “Open: An Autobiography” comes out November 9th. Meh, meh.

Take that Nickelback…

More on Urban Lights Studios in Greenwood, Seattle, here.