Gaultier Men’s Collection Fall/Winter 2010 Paris.

Last week, Jean Paul Gaultier Men’s 2010/2011 show in Paris opened with two female models duking it out in a boxing ring that stood in the middle of the room.  The show also featured guys strutting around (like grumpy, above) made up to look “all beat up” in Gaultier’s prize-fighter inspired Fall/Winter 2010/2011 collection.

More photos here.

I knew it! Smoking is cool!

Thanks!: BLORT!

Dating site bio: FAIL!

If you have to mention that your vegeena is clean in your dating site bio, it probably isn’t. It’s also likely that if you can’t actually spell the word Vagina, you might not have one. Clean or otherwise. True story.

Link via Reddit.

Bacon Wrapped Turkey.

No. Just. No.

Source.

A mug made of bacon. For K.

It’s never okay to waste liquor. Or to combine liquor with bacon. True story.

Bob Evans Gravy Dispenser and Biscuit in a Bowl Machine.

I almost went into cardiac arrest just uploading this photo. True story.

Sweaty Balls? YOU ARE NOT ALONE! $14.99.

But don’t take the word of the sweaty folks behind Fresh Balls, listen to what other sweaty sac sufferers have to say about Fresh Balls:

Fresh Balls is amazing. The first time I used it was right before a long car trip on leather seats, and I was dry the whole way.

I thought it was a joke until I tried it. Now it’s just like brushing my teeth or shaving. Thanks to Fresh Balls, I’m always dry!

Want Fresh Balls? Click here.

Source.

That’s My Face.

The website for Portland, Oregon company, That’s My Face, allows you to modify a photo of yourself (or anyone else’s) and change things like your ethnicity, age, or sex (yes, please). Once you’re happy with the way “your face” looks, you can have it made into way too many creepy things. For $129.99 you can have a 12″ inch action figure made with your face on it (or anyone else’s. Like the chick you’re currently stalking). Of course, if you just want a head with your face on it, for $1,999 you can get a life-size That’s My Face Head.

This 3:30 minutes infomercial is all kinds of wrong. If you make it past the 2:00 mark, the face of the guy from the way too personal, Personal Urn makes an appearance. And I really didn’t want to see him again. True story.

Much more weirdness at That’s My Face.com.

Trick or Drink is not really a question as much as it is a genuine need. Jones Creepy Candy Corn Soda.

Okay, I’d be lying to you right now if I said I didn’t drink any of this little black beverage (which actually looks like Mountain Dew) tonight. I poured a splash of this Candy Corn Soda by Jones in a cold shot of Vodka, and still couldn’t finish it. And I love booze. So much so, I mourn Booze’s passing by any vessel that isn’t my own mouth.

If you want to experience the horror of my mouth right now, which I will assure you is still wildly delicious despite my previous comment, and you don’t have any Jones Candy Corn Soda, just toss a teaspoon of Vanilla extract into a shot of Vodka. The foreboding tombstones printed on the bottom left of the can will then come into play as you’re screaming, “WHY  DO YOU HATE ME VANILLA, WHY???!!!”.

While you casually open a beer and simultaneously thank GOD you’re not driving (and not just because you just opened a beer), please be happy knowing you never done drunk that candy-corn-shit-in-a-can in the first place. Not like me and my sad, angry vanilla-flavored mouth. True TRUE! story.

Venom Halloween Costume: FAIL! Man, Woman, Pat? In any case, FAIL! In other words, NOOOOOOOOO!

Behold, the first documented case of an all black ensemble not being as slimming as promised. True story.

Okay kids, it’s time for another amateur night Halloween and the obligatory “look at these crazy fucking pumpkin’s” post. Anyway, I expect that plenty of you will end your night just like these pumpkins did. Me? I’ll be celebrating quietly with my friends George, Tom and Bub.

More vomiting gourds after the jump. Now, JUMP…!

Read the rest of this entry →

Dog The Bounty Hunter Halloween Costume. $39.99

This is truly the most horrifying costume I’ve seen. Since yesterday at least. Shirt not included. Shudder…

Midnight Meat Hand. Made from real meat!

Want to make your very own meat hand? Visit Not Martha.com for the recipe.

Yoders 100% US Smoke Flavored Bacon. $79.98. For K.

With a shelf life in excess of 10 years, this bacon makes a perfect addition to your food storage program and it is great for every day use. Especially useful during Zombie infestation when food isn’t available.

100% U.S. Bacon! America, Fuck Yeah…?

Via: ReadyDepot.

Zombies of Mass Destruction. A Zomedy about Zombies. For LP.

The special effects in Zombies of Mass Destruction were done by Tom Devlin. Devlin’s credits include movies like, Caged Lesbo A Go-Go, The Gay Bed and Breakfast of Terror and a flick that Steven King called “hilarious”, Poultrygeist: The Night of the Chicken Dead.

On October 24th, Zombies of Mass Destruction will play at the Admiral Theater in West Seattle as part of The Seattle Gay and Lesbian Film Festival.

More on ZOMD here.

The Blood Lamp. Thanks to Freddy Pants for the link.

If the photo above twists your gut a bit too much, then you definitely should not click this link to see an actual demonstration of how the Blood Lamp works. Oh crap, here comes lunch…

Yoshihiro Nishimura’s Vampire Girl vs. Frankenstein Girl, 2009. For Dr. H.

Honestly, we owe Japanese film maker and splatter-king Yoshihiro Nishimura so much for his cinematic contributions. From the giant, blood-soaked penis cannon of Tokyo Gore Police, to the chain saw tittays of Robogeisha, Nishimura gore filled imagination box continues to flow over with blood. His latest film, the battle royal between Vampire Girl and Frankenstein Girl, is a part of the lineup at ScreamFest LA this weekend.

A model from the Valeria Marini runway show at Milan Fashion Week.

It’s official. Blood is the new black this season.

For Stacey.

Actor/Comedian Hal Sparks. Not Gene Simmons.

WHOA! What happened to Hal Sparks? I say that because Hal used to look like this. And like this when he hosted E!’s Talk Soup. And for the last five years on Showtime’s Queer as Folk. I mean, did he break up with his girlfriend? His boyfriend? Did he recently stop drinking or, did he start drinking at noon. Like two days ago?

Anyways, I’m not sure if Hal knows who he is or where he is from the looks of this photo. But I’m sure of at least one thing. That isn’t a picture of Gene Simmons (above). I mean, I’m not even sure if this is a picture of Gene Simmons. However, the photo below is definitely a picture of Gene Simmons …:

Gene Simmons on the flesh and in a wig. Dear GOD please let that be a wig…

All I know is if you try to look like Gene Simmons on purpose, it damn well better be Halloween.

Ultimate Fighting for Babies!

The bare-knuckle-dragging sport of Ultimate Fighting has come to your kid’s kindergarten class. If you live in Missouri that is. So far, Missouri is the only state that says it’s okay for children as young as six to engage in organized, youth fighting.

The 11 boys and one girl on the team range from 6 to 14 years old and are trained by Rudy Lindsey, a youth wrestling coach and a professional mixed martial arts heavyweight.

In most states the activity would get you a misdemeanor charge. In Oklahoma it’ll get 30 days in the clink. Anyways, don’t tell Tommy Bloomer there’s something wrong with youth fighting. Bloomer’s two kids (ages 11 and 8) are a part of “Garage Boys Fight Crew“. Bloomer says the demented version of Kiddie Fight Club provides positive reinforcement to kids. By teaching them how to defend themselves in the gym, instead of on the streets:

Positive reinforcement by Fight Club…

“We’re not training them for dog fighting,” said Bloomer, a 34-year- old construction contractor. When they get out of the cage, they go back and play video games together. If they get in trouble or get bad grades, I’ll hear about it and they can’t come to training.”

Wow. Training kids to fight in cages? What kind of Pavlovian on-line school did Tommy Bloomer drop out of? Let me be the first person to nominate Tommy for “Father of the Year“. And I hope Tommy wins. Because I’m afraid if he doesn’t win, he might send his 11-year-old kid over to beat my kneecaps off. With his bare hands.

Tramp Stamps R’ Us for toddlers at Toys ‘R’ Us…

In other redneck parenting news, you can now pick up a sweet “Tramp Stamp” temporary tattoo at Toys ‘R’ Us for your little tramp-in-training. Because it’s never too early to start turning your kid into a whored out version of yourself.

Thanks to the Red Davey Kid and Breitbart for the ultimate linkage…