Tag Archives: Do Not Want

That Sounds Delicious! Said Nobody: Glazed Donut Vodka


360 organic Glazed Donut Flavored Vodka.

I am unapologetic when it comes to my love of flavored vodka. But lately it seems that vodka makers, from the high end to the plastic bottle purveyors of my sweet nectar, have gone right off the deep end when it comes to coming up with new flavors. To prove my point, I give you 360′s Glazed Donut flavored vodka. Thanks 360. You’ve now made me hate vodka and donuts.

Amazingly, 360 one-upped themselves in the “WTF were you smoking” department with another of their new creations, Buttered Popcorn flavored vodka. How this idea got from the 4:20 marketing meeting to a production line, is beyond me. And I have a fucking vivid imagination.

Thanks to the Red Davy Kid for the link.

 

 

Worst Halloween Costume Of 2012: His And Hers Inflatable Sex Doll

His and Hers inflatable sex dolls. $29.99 each.

Well, I might have reached the end of the Internet when I stumbled on these  very creepy his and her’s inflatable sex doll costumes. It’s creepy for many reasons, but mostly because  to really pull it off, you have to hang out all night with your mouth in full on blow job position, to get the full effect.

Via; Buy Costumes or maybe don’t

Jelly Bean Prayer Bag. Includes “Jesus’ Blood” Flavor


The Jelly Bean Prayer Bag. By Scripture Candy.

A very metal friend of Cherrybomb’s dropped a package of Jelly Bean Prayer Bags on my doorstep today. Naturally, the “Jesus’ Blood” flavor tastes like cherry. Who knew Jesus was so delicious?

Hello NO Kitty: Hello Kitty Ciggies…


Hello Kitty cigarettes. Thanks to Stacey from Style and Stuff for the link.

Need to be even classier? You can also get a Hello Kitty cigarette case, personalized with your zodiac sign, to put your Hello Kitty cancer sticks in.

Via: Hello Kitty Hell.

 

Epic Fail: Terrifying Facebook Ad Features Satanic Toddler …


A social worker specializing in Satanic toddlers? Image via my Facebook page today.

Thanks Facebook, but I’ll pass.

Love Buzzkill: New Gene Simmons KISS Kondoms…


KISS Kondoms featuring Gene Simmons. $9.95 for three.

If you’re feeling more mentally unstable adventurous then me, you can order your very own KISS Kondoms, here. Will a condom with Gene Simmons made-up mug and giant tongue help you get lucky? Don’t kount on it…

Giant Woochie Lips. For Boys And Girls Of All Ages..!


Woochie Giant Lips by Costume Zone. $3.95.

Before you rush out and get your own Woochie Giant Lips, Woochie Pro, (the makers of Woochie Giant Lips) have a few precautions (along with a bunch of typos) for you:

Do Not store in locations with extreme temperatures. (Check! Do not wear Wooke Giant Lips while in hot tub).
All Make Up may stain clothing, iritate skin and iritate eyes. (So, don’t stick Woochie Giant Lips in my eyes? Sounds reasonable. Check!).
Do not swallow. (Tempting but, check!).
Keep out of the reach of children. (Unlike Trix, Woochie Giant Lips are not for kids).
Woochie Giant Lips will may appeal to boys and girls of all ages. (Wookie Giant Lips will may get you in trouble with the police. Check! Proceed with caution while  wearing Wookie Giant Lips in all school zones!).

No Time For Church? There’s An App For That…


Priests? We don’t need no stinkin’ priests! Confession: A Roman Catholic App.

Confession: A Roman Catholic App, a new iPhone application that simulates the act of Catholic confession and prayer for a mere $1.99, has already been disqualified by the Vatican as an acceptable excuse for not going to church. A spokesperson for the Vatican said that Catholics can’t actually participate in confession via their iPhones, despite the fact that it has been endorsed (or given an ‘imprimatur’) by a Catholic bishop.

Now, I’m not Catholic (surprise!) but, I’m finding it hard to fight the urge to spring for the $1.99 to see if I can break the app’s virtual”confession booth“. But who the fuck am I kidding? My iPhone would burst into flames the minute ‘Confession’ finished downloading. Besides, I try to avoid doing anything that cuts into my downtime playing Slayer Pinball. Word.

The Love Toilet is REAL…!


The TwoDaLoo. The worlds first two-person toilet.

The Love Toilet is REAL! More info (shudder), here.

Source.

Smell Like GENE! KISS – The Deoderant Stick…


KISS Deodorant, for Him. $8.99.

Personally, I’d rather smell like Ace (think guitar strings and dry ice). Anyway, it appears that KISS actually smells like bergamot, fir balsam, black cumin, white pepper, moss, sandalwood and anise. I mean, who knew KISS was so classy? I always thought KISS was supposed to smell like groupies, sweat, Metamucil, spandex, lube and icy-hot.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...