Condomania tells you where the biggest penises are in the country. In other news, I’m moving to New Orleans! I guess they really don’t call it the “Big Easy” for nothing.
Condomania has been collecting data on penis size since 2004 when they launched, They Fit Condoms, a line of custom fitted jimmy-hats. They Fit Condoms come in 76 different sizes, ranging from 3 to 10 (!) inches in length and, from super slim to “extra-roomy” in width. The strictly-dickly-data collection, culled by the feedback provided by 27,000 penises from around the world, is the largest (ahem) evaluation on Mr. Johnson since The Kinsey Penis Report in the early 90’s. Below are more fun penis facts from Condomania. In other news, I can’t wait to go back to New Hampshire!
Top Ranking State by Average Penis Size: New Hampshire
Lowest Ranking State by Average Penis Size: Wyoming
Top Ranking U.S. City by Average Penis Size: New Orleans
Second Highest Ranking City (just behind N.O.): Washington, D.C.
Lowest Ranking City by Average Penis Size: Dallas/Ft. Worth
Blue States vs Red States: Blue States’ Average Penis Size is Bigger!
Penises Come in a Wide Range of Sizes: The Smallest Penises are Less Than 3″ in Length and the Largest Penises are Longer Than 10″ in Length
Penis Sizes Chart Almost a Perfect Bell Curve: 25% of the Male Population is Under 5″ in Length, 50% are Between 5″ and 6″ in Length and 25% are Longer than 6″ in Length
Red, White and Bluesman! Is Steven Tyler is headed to the judges chair on American Idol?
After Aerosmith’s show in Vegas yesterday, Steven Tyler sort of confirmed the recent rumor that he will take over one of the judges chairs for the upcoming American Idol 2011 season. In addition to recording a solo record, Tyler said he would “probably” be a part of the shows eighth season, starting in January. Tyler also confirmed the “rumors” that he was “pregnant with Joe Perry’s baby”. Much to the chagrin of Joe Perry.
Tyler says he’s currently got 12 songs in the can for his solo record but, plans to get back to basics with Aerosmith first and record the bands 15th studio album sometime later this year.
According to The Cars Facebook page, it just might happen! The possible reunion would include original Cars lineup of vocalist Ric Ocasek, guitarist Elliot Easton, keyboard player Greg Hawkes, and drummer David Robinson, who replaced Cars’ drummer Benjamin Orr who passed away in 2000.
The photo that started the flurry of reunion speculation, posted on The Cars Facebook page, was confirmed to be from a recent rehearsal by Cars keyboardist, Greg Hawkes.
Movies About Girls the LIVECAST. We F*$kin’ did it!
Well, we fuckin’ did it alright! The very first Movies About GirlsLIVECAST went off without a hitch last Friday night in MAG’s super secret studio in Boston. Hijinks abounded and the booze flowed freely for six hours as MAG’s faithful crew broke through into the world of live-broadcasting. From now on all MAG podcasts will be all the way LIVE so stay tuned. You don’t want to miss a minute of “Hits From Hell“, our continuing search for the worst song ever, our fair and balanced podcast review segment “Let’s Fuck Up the Podcast“, all the weird news you need to know (aka – stay the fuck away from Florida, especially if the town is named after a delicious cheese) and everybody’s favorite, “Ask a Drunk Joey“. Our last Ask a Drunk Joey segment was one for the ages and I recommend you check it out by clicking here and listening to Episode #76 – aka – MAG LIVECAST 2010!
Special thanks go out to Ken,Stacey, Jim Ether, Born of Thunder, Holly, GGG and the folks at Loudcaster for making MAG LIVECAST 2010 happen. I miss you guys already…
The Movies About Girls podcast goes live without a net on Friday, July 16th!
Good news all you Movies About Girls fans! The very first LIVE Movies About Girls podcast is set to terrorize the airwaves with hijinks galore this Friday, July 16th.
You can listen to the blow by blow action via the Loudcaster Radio Network. The show starts at 6 PM EST so set your alarms and start thinking up your excuses for having to leave work early so you don’t miss a minute of it! All your favorite cast members will be there live in person – the greatest side-man to ever ride shotgun, Jim Ether, Mike Demonik and Joey Sinn of popular Boston heavy metal band Born of Thunder, the Canadian Lita Ford, Holly will cross the border into MAG’s zip-code, resident porn expert Gore Gore Girl is rumored to be making the trek from coordinates unknown and, yours truly will board a plane from Seattle tomorrow for this most momentous, glandular adventure. As always, manning the helm of this crazy train will be the King of Podcasting himself Ken with the talented, confident and witty Stacey, right by his side. And it wouldn’t be MAG without the ramblings of every ones favorite Streaker, Mike Fisher and the inappropriate oration of professional vampire, Victor Aurelius.
All you need to do on Friday is click the “listen” link on the Movies About Girls Loudcaster page at 6 PM EST. If you like what you hear (and I know you will), be sure to vote for us on Podcast Alley or leave us a comment on Loudcaster or iTunes and help us keep podcasting, sexy.
*Programming Note: Posts will be slower than usual for the rest of the month as I’ll be drinkin’ and dancin’ the night away for the next three weeks. Please visit the very Clickworthy friends of Cherrybombed.com (linked to the right of the page) for all your Internet needs. Lastly, STFI = stay the fuck in and LISTEN to MAG!*
Page 22 Sears Bikini Girls from the 1975 Spring/Summer Sears catalog. Boing!
You can now listen to theMovies About Girls Podcast 24/7 via Loudcaster, an Internet radio content provider. So whenever you want to hear about the latest Vampire Chickmovie, listen to songs about girls, hear interviews with rock stars, puppet masters and cut-ups - as well as MAG’s continuing search for the worst song ever, you can. Anytime, day or night. But that’s not all the good news for this #1 rated podcast. MAG will be going LIVE sometime in June. Which means when I have a meltdown on the podcast, you’ll get to hear it as it happens. If whenJoey Sinn(1/4 of Boston Metal band, Born of Thunder) gets drunk, you’ll be able to match him beer for beer from anywhere in the world. And, the next time MAG’s esteemed host, rock journo and King of the podcasting airwaves, Ken, decides his cast and crew are collectively headed to hell in a hand-basket, you’ll hear Neil Sedaka telling us it’s all going to be okay, as if he were in your own living room.
MAG will premiere is mayhem filled live show from it’s super secret studio in Boston(with yours truly making the trip just for the occasion) sometime in July.
Earl Greyhound, Ghost and The Witness. From the April 2010 release, Suspicious Package. You can get a full download of Suspicious Package for free here (sign-up required).
Earl Greyhound are from Brooklyn and make regular pilgrimages to Boston for live shows. If you’re in Boston on May 7th, (and I know very well that lots of you are), your opportunity to see what will likely be one of the most sonic rock shows this year happens on May 7th, at one of the last great rock rooms still standing in Boston, The Paradise.
This is Oaxaca, Mexico based artist Jerónimo López Ramírez, also known as Dr. Lakra(or Dr. Delinquent) first solo exhibition in the U.S. Larka’s work has been described as playful, hallucinogenic, vulgar and erotic. Or, in other words, completely excellent.
Larka has been making a living as a successful tattoo artist since the early 90’s and began selling his paintings as a means of paying his taxes in Mexico. He uses everything from vintage Mexican pulp fiction novels, magazines and photographs to create his paintings and drawings. Dr. Larka’s engagement runs through September 16th at the ICA Boston.
A small gallery of Larka’s work can be viewed via MoMA.
Tickets for the August 14th concert featuring Aerosmith and The J. Geils Band sold out in less than a day this past Saturday. Both Peter Wolf (of the J. Geils Band) and Steven Tyler (The Motherfucking Rainbow!) were on hand at Fenway Park to announce the show during the Sox/Yankees game on Wednesday, April 7th. Fenway’s capacity hovers somewhere around 37,000+. Take that Nickelback…
In keeping with the consensus that there is not such thing as Aerosmith without Steven Tyler, the band is scheduled to appear at the massive Download Festival in the UK in June under one condition, that Steven Tyler and onlySteven Tyler appear with the band. Tyler, who despite making appearances at and Karaoke barsandHome Depot, is still in rehab, released this statement confirming that he will perform with Aerosmith at Download:
In the early days of Aerosmith, we were infected with the vibe coming out of the U.K. with the Yardbirds, Blues Breakers, Pretty Things and the Rolling Stones, and we wanted what they had bad. So baby, we’re coming home. Rock and roll can be pure sex and we can’t wait to Download …
The Download Festival kicks off on June 11th at Donington Park. Take that Joe Perry.
The March issue of Men’s Health Magazine contains a list of the most drunk cities in the US. Seattle was given a C+ for our current level of intoxication. For SHAME! Although we did one-up Spokane(C) and flat out beat Portland (D+), there is clearly room for improvement my fellow Emerald City boozehounds.
The biggest shocker on the list was that Boston received the dubious honor of being the “least drunk city”. SACRILEG! Although Boston’s sober status kind of makes sense since I don’t live there anymore.
The study based their findings on uplifting data such as death rates from alcoholic liver disease, booze-induced accidents involving motor vehicles, hospitalizations due to binge-drinking, and DUI arrests.
To see where your city ended up on the list, click here.
In a lengthy interview with Britt Rock Magazine Classic Rock, Joe Perry continued to mystify the world of rock ‘n’ roll with his bizarre list of singers who he says could possibly replace Steven Tyler at the helm of Aerosmith. The latest victim is 69 year old Tom Jones. Said (yawn)The Perry:
He’s got a great set of pipes, so why not? I’ve played with him before, and know he could bring something extra to the band. We haven’t approached him yet, but if he were interested that would be great. Imagine the interest Tom would generate.
Last weeks Aerosmith rumor mill also included the horrifying notion that Sammy Hagarmight step in while Tyler is on hiatus. As if we all didn’t suffer enough with over a decade of Van Hagar. Oi!
The latest issue of Classic Rock, The Last Days of an American Rock Legend featuring Joe Perry on the cover, is out now.
…which is weird since pretty much anyone that follows Aerosmith(including the fans living in their vans down by the river) knows that Steven Tyler is currently in rehab and is due to undergo surgery on his feet and knees in the very near future. The surgery will potentially keep out of commission for close to a year. Anyway, here’s Perry’s“get better soon” shout out to his band mate and friend of nearly 40 years:
I don’t know what’s going on with him, but as far as AEROSMITH goes, we’re going to find somebody to sing.
Not that I expected Perry to be sending Steven Tyler a Build-a-Bear in a doctor outfit and a box of chocolates laced with Percocet, but even my black heart yelled “BOO!” at Perry’s latest “Steven Tyler who?” comments. Later during Perry’s interview with Canadian publication, The Globe and Mail, hewas asked whohe thought might be able to wiggle into Tyler’s size zero spandex. Perry responded saying he would only consider a performer that is “legitimate (sorry Josh Todd) headliner”.
You can read Perry’s full interview with The Globe and Mail, here.
Tyler’s doctor Brian McKeon says that in addition the current treatment for his painkiller addiction, Tyler will also need additional surgery for his knees and feet in the near future. McKeon said that despite tapping into other types of treatment and alternative therapy to help heal the forever frontman of Aerosmith, Tyler’s pain has become worse…:
The balance between managing his pain and avoiding addiction is tenuous and difficult and his bravery in persevering through rigorous touring is admirable.
I’ve been meaning to remind you all that Episode #44 of The Movies About Girls Podcast is up and ready for your ears. Among other topics, you will learn why you why you shouldn’t try to pay your drug dealer with deodorant, the horror (and the goodness) of pink panties and, the virtues of Danny Trejo and babysitters gone bad.
Want more? Joining the best podcast ever for Episode #44 is XXX expert, Gore Gore Girl with her run down on the top five porn releases of the week. If you just said “what?”, you might want to check your pulse. Also, Joey Sinn and Mike Demonik of Boston Metal band Born of Thunder are back with insight on leather pants, Metal and fast cars. What more could you possibly want from a from a podcast? That’s right, boobs. I mean, NOTHING! Okay, andboobs. Thankfully, The Movies About Girls Podcast is an expert on that very topic.
You can listen to Episode #44here or click the podcast link on the right of this page. You can also now follow The Movies About Girls Podcast on Twitter! If you like what you hear, go out and vote for us at Podcast Alley and help us defeat the evil corporate sponsored podcasts that litter PA’s top 50 list.
A lot of work goes into making this podcast happen and, I want to thank to Ken, Seth, and Stacey for making it all happen.
J. Geils Band, Piss on the Wall. From 1981’s Freeze Frame. For Mike, Sarah and LP.
I was at a very boss Holiday party on Saturday, boozing happily while plotting illegal rides in stolen shopping carts when the couch conversation shifted it’s way early days of the Boston rock scene. Highlights included, but were not limited to Aerosmith, Willie Loco Alexander and the loud conclusion (thanks Mike) that J. Geils 1971 version of The Contours hit “First I Look At The Purse“ is one of the hottest covers ever.
Anyway, since that magical night, I’ve had this song from Geils’ huge 1981 record, Freeze Frame, stuck in my head. Now hopefully you do too.
In yet another wrinkle in the ongoing saga of the future of Aerosmith, Geffen record executive John Kalodner was quoted saying that the only person that could possibly replace Steven Tyler is Lenny Kravitz. After he regained consciousness following his massive brain fart, Kalodoner qualified his statement saying that there there is no such thing as Aerosmith“without Steven Tyler“. Aerosmith put out three of their most commercially successful records with Geffen, starting with their 1985 “comeback” record, Done With Mirrors.
Meanwhile, somewhere in the woods of New Hampshire, Joe Perry just got an idea. An awful idea. Joe Perry got a wonderful, awful, idea…
Just a quick note on this weeksSear’s ‘74 entry as this photo is giving me a case of the bed-spins. And sadly (and quite unbelievably) I’m not drunk. If the chick modeling item #1, the footed two-piece erection killing sleepwear, looks as though like you might have masturbated to her before, you would be correct. As well as somewhat pathetic and very lonely.
Posy sleepwear model #1 from page 177 of the Fall/Winter 1974 Sears Catalog, is actress Shelly Hack. Hack is probably best known for her brief role on Charlie’s Angels. Hack’s fictional Bostonian, Tiffany Wells became Charlie’s #5 Angel, replacing Kate Jackson for one season in 1980.
More polyester blend madness from Sears next Wednesday that will absolutely! may or may not involve Ted Williams, guns and/or He-Man chairs. Stay tuned…
Cherrybombed.com is about the music and culture of the Pacific Northwest, as well as other cool happenings around the world. We also shine a spotlight on celebrities behaving badly. Here, you will find videos, low-brow artwork and images, and tattoos only a mother could hate.
If boozing was an olympic event, we would be on a box of Wheaties. If this all sounds familiar to you (and your mother), welcome home.
