Sleek and Slithery knit beachwear from page 19 of the 1975 Fall Winter Sears Catalog.

Man, the catalog “writers” for the 1975 Fall/Winter Sears Catalog were so far ahead of their time. Sleek and Slithery is a totally 80’s way to describe a girl in a bathing suit. Or the latest record by Whitesnake.

Speaking of sleek and slithery girls, Episode #59 of the Movies About Girls Podcast is up now and you don’t want to miss it! Our quest to find the worst song ever recorded trudges on, and yours truly imitates a talking dolphin, parrot and gypsy caterpillar (yes, really) during our review of the trippy 80’s flick out of Brazil, Super Xuxa vs Satan. We’ll also run down the weird news of the week with musical interludes by The Hellos, Japan’s surf-rock sweethearts The Pebbles and, the infinite metal power of Fu Manchu!

Click here to listen to Episode #59 of the MAG podcast. If you dig what you hear, make sure you get out and to vote for us on Podcast Alley and help us keep podcasting sexy…

Yellow terry cloth bikini from page 20 of the Sears 1975 Spring/Summer catalog.

In the words of my very sexy, bikini-loving friend K, Boing!

In other good news about girls, Episode #57 of the Movies About Girls Podcast is now available for your streaming pleasure. You can click the link to the right on our page or, you can just click here to go right to the Movies About Girls website and hear all the madness yourself!

The Bikini Girls of page 138 and 139 of the 1975 Sears Spring/Summer Catalog. For K.

After last weeks Fur Bikini episode of the Movies About Girls podcast, I’ve had bikini-on-the-brain. Missed MAG’s 55th episode? Click here to be absolved of your uncool sins, looser.

Page 124 of the Sears 1975 Spring/Summer Catalog. Shelly Hack not included with purchase.

This week we pay a visit to the blondes on page 124 of the 1975 Sears Spring/Summer Catalog. Former Charlie’s Angel Shelly Hack is back again to sex up the Sears 1975 catalog along with a bare-midriff top and, a little cameltoe. If you use your imagination. And your imagination wants to be used by Shelly Hack. Trust me.

*Programming note: I know I missed Sears ‘75 last week, but I don’t punch clocks  or people. I’ll make it up to you somehow baby. I promise. By the way, can I borrow some money for some ass gas? Just click the Paypal link on the top of the page. It’s easy. Did you lose weight? I love you.

Nick Gentry, Connection Lost. 2010.

UK artist Nick Gentry creates his portraits using old school media like VHS tapes and floppy discs. If you have been wanting to get rid of your old cassette tapes or those floppy disc you have stored in your basement just in case you need to resurrect your resume from 1989, send them along to Gentry and he’ll turn them into a work or art.

More on Gentry here.

Bodysuits from Sears Body Suit Shop. $5.97 & 8.97 respectively.

These cameltoe free, snap-crotch flashbacks come from page 213 of the 1975 Sears Fall/Winter catalog. Snap crotch!

Hippy chick dresses $14.97. For K and forever hippy chick, JB.

I don’t know what the weather is like in your part of the world, but today in Seattle it’s feeling rather Spring like (boing!). So if it’s still Winter where you live, hopefully these vintage Spring chickens from page 146 of the 1975 Sears Spring/Summer Catalog will warm you up.

Anyway, please pardon the brevity of this post as I have the sudden urge to do 1000 sit ups.

And now for a trip down the super funky 1975 “Style Aisle” of the Sears 1975 Spring/Summer Catalog.

Looking for clothes for the cat that won’t cop out? A man that would risk his neck for his brother man? Well I found exactly what Dr. Funky ordered on pages 460 & 461 of the 1975 Sears Spring/Summer Catalog . Whether you’re riding the Soul Train back to the crib to watch Black Caesar with your boys, or stepping out to the No Name Bar in the Village for an evening of cracking sucka’s skulls with scotch bottles, your “bad motherfucker” rep will stay intact.

Can you dig it?

The Dickie Bra, now in turtleneck!

Now that I have your attention, I’d like to welcome to the inaugural entry for our penetrating (hello, Vicar!) look into the Sears Spring/Summer 1975 catalog. Since we kicked off our last visit to Sears of the 70’s with The Dickie Bra from 1974, I thought it was fitting to begin a new year with The Dickie Bra (now comes in turtleneck!) featured on page 181 of the Sears Spring/Summer catalog of 1975. If you have a pulse and a penis, I’m sure you agree.

Check out Sears’ slightly disturbing, Children of the Corn 1975 catalog cover, after the jump…

Read the rest of this entry →

How not to celebrate New Years Eve by the Sears 1974 Fall/Winter Catalog.

Fake fireplace logs and this fake fireplace, from page 1010 of the Sears 1974 Fall/Winter Catalog, lived in my hallway when I was growing up back east. All you needed to start this Santa approved plastic fire was the a push of a button. I distinctly remember the logs made a clicking sound that was supposed to mimic the crackle of a real fire. Which it did not.

Anyway, unless you have your own copy, enjoy your last look back at the Sears 1974 Fall/Winter Catalog, sans sticky pages. Next week we’ll start exploring the Sears Spring/Summer Catalog from 1975. It’s all kinds of right and wrong. Just like yours truly.

Sears ‘74, Ho-Ho-NO! Hopefully you didn’t find anything like this under your tree this year. If you did, that means that Santa and Jesus both hate you.

This better-late-than-never special Holiday edition of Sears ‘74 comes from page 630 of the Sears 1974 Fall/Winter catalog. On Wednesday of next week, I’ll feature our last look back at Sears’ take on 1974 before we delve into the polyester blend madness that is the Sears Spring/Summer catalog of 1975.

Look for our first 1975 Sears summertime fashion flashback, on January 6th, 2010!

Ted Williams Gun Cabinets. Approved by Ted Williams. From page 1202 of the 1974 Sears Fall/Winter Catalog.

This week’s Sears ‘74 is a nostalgic doozy for yours truly. Growing up in Boston, I idolized (and still do) the Boston Red Sox (yes, really), and routinely prayed at the Church of Ted Williams, one of the greatest baseball players of all time. After Williams left the Sox to pursue other sports related ventures, he got into bed with Sears and created a line of various Guns. More specifically, shotguns.

Ted’s Shotgun line for Sears included but was not limited to the single-shot, double barrel, 12-gauge, semi-automatic and pump-action shotguns just to name a few. Of course, all those guns needed somewhere safe to hang out, so Ted also created a signature line of Gun Cabinets for Sears, pictured above.

You can see some of Ted’s Over-and-Under boom-sticks after the jump…

Read the rest of this entry →

The “He-Man” recliner by Sears. $214.99.

You can be sure that even though he was an aristocrat with a secret identity, Prince Adam never possessed an actual “He-Man” chair. This week’s 1974 obsession is the “He-Man” chair, found on page 1270 of the 1974 Sears Fall/Winter Catalog. Anyway, is it me or does He-Man look pretty relaxed for a dude wearing purple trousers?

Posy print nightmares nightgowns.

Just a quick note on this weeks Sear’s ‘74 entry as this photo is giving me a case of the bed-spins. And sadly (and quite unbelievably) I’m not drunk. If the chick modeling item #1, the footed two-piece erection killing sleepwear, looks as though like you might have masturbated to her before, you would be correct. As well as somewhat pathetic and very lonely.

Posy sleepwear model #1 from page 177 of the Fall/Winter 1974 Sears Catalog, is actress Shelly Hack. Hack is probably best known for her brief role on Charlie’s Angels. Hack’s fictional Bostonian, Tiffany Wells became Charlie’s #5 Angel, replacing Kate Jackson for one season in 1980.

More polyester blend madness from Sears next Wednesday that will absolutely! may or may not involve Ted Williams, guns and/or He-Man chairs. Stay tuned…

The Pacesetters. The horror…

My humble apologies for not posting this weeks Sears ‘74 yesterday but once again, it’s worth the wait. This week we’re featuring a line of 70’s teen clothing that will make you glad that you were never a girl that wore a size 7-14 in 1974. And if you’re wondering, I did manage to dodge that speeding polyester blend bullet otherwise known as The Pacesetters in ‘74. Anyway, this week’s look at the Sears 1974 Fall/Winter catalog is our biggest and most horrifying yet!

More Pacesetters madness after the jump. Now JUMP!

Read the rest of this entry →

Budweiser Bedding. Sears 1974 Fall/Winter Catalog. For Jim McD.

I used to date a guy in High School that had these sheets. Now, if you read into that last nightmarish statement, you get three possible takes on what it might imply. That said, let me address your concerns immediately:

No, I never had sex on that bed with that boy. That, Monica Lewinsky.

My 16 year old boyfriend didn’t have a job. Which means he didn’t buy these sheets for himself. Yes, he had the coolest parents ever.

Even at the tender age of 15, I was already too advanced to be susceptible to the mature allure of the Budweiser Sheets. The Budweiser Tall in a can? Not so much. True story.

Next week’s Sears ‘74 will be our biggest awe-inspiring, flashback inducing pictorial yet. Stay tuned…

The Sears Putter Suit. Comes in the “Popular Utility Style” (R) and “Handsome Leisure Style” (Middle) and the “Comfortable” (on Clint Eastwood or R).

The Putter Suit was made from a Dacron fabric that somehow possessed the ability to “release soil”. I’m not exactly sure what that means but, I’m pretty sure the guy in the middle of this ad (from page 657 of the Sears Fall/Winter Catalog) is about to find out.

Supple Lustrous Jersey Hostesswear.

If you get invited to a party in Hell (and I have it on verra good authority that they do party in the underworld, join us…), this is what you wear if you want to fit in. According to page #164, & page #641 (numerology weirdness!) of the Sears 1974 Fall/Winter Catalog of course. Lucky for you, I’m too drunk off Absolut Boston to say anything else about our weekly feature right now. Despite my former admission, I  blame the Vodka bed-spins on the dizzy Hostesswear patterns above. Don’t blame Sears! It wasn’t his fault! It was the DRUNK! COLOR-BLIND POLYESTER LOCUSTS!!!

True story.

The Gently Soothing Brief from Sears. For K who I know already disagrees with my “brief” synopsis.

It’s Wednesday so that means it’s time for another look back at the 1974 Sears Fall/Winter catalog. This week is dedicated to page 199 of the catalog and the ultimate granny-panty, the Gently Soothing Brief . I know some of you might disagree but, I suspect the only thing this brief is actually good at is soothing a perfectly good erection away.

Big Pimpin’ with Sears 1974 Fall/Winter Catalog.

My apologies for not getting our regular Wednesday post, Sears ‘74 up yesterday. Not being able to adhere to a regular schedule is one of the main reasons I don’t have a real job. Anyway, let’s get back to the mid-70’s eye candy above. Richard Pryor dude is wearing a 100% “Qiana” nylon shirt. Qiana (made by the fine people of DuPont) is the disco loving, body-hugging fabric, that stretches with your every movement. The 100% wool felt hat comes with a feather in it. Word.

Sear’s 1974 version of Huggy Bear.

In this photo from page 594 of the Sears 1974 Fall/Winter catalog, the 100% wool felt hat makes another appearance in the very pimpy color, “bottle green”. Aside from that, there’s really nothing more I can say about these photos that the images haven’t already conveyed. Except maybe “Bitch better have my money!”.