Don’t drink too much! You might get silly. For ever clever, LP.

Click here to read the rest of the “advice” from this vintage 1938 newspaper and remember, if you need a brassiere, wear one.

Thanks!: BLORT!

Faux Chanel Yeti’s. Chanel Fall/Winter 2010/2011, Paris. For Stacey.

Thankfully, our friends at Peta and animal lovers like yours truly won’t be pulling their hemp panties out of our cracks because in a shocking change of direction, Uncle Karl Lagerfiled, the reigning queen of Chanel, didn’t kill anything to make these furry Sasquatch man-suits.

Don’t worry girls, Karl didn’t forget about you. Click here to see the Woman’s Wear version of what nobody everybody not even a hairless Yeti will be wearing later this year.

Nicholas Cage as Nickelback’s Chad Kroeger.

Okay, I admit it. There is absolutely no truth behind my sensational headline (take that Nickelback!) however, that was the first thing that popped into my head after seeing this photo of Nicholas Cage on the set of his new (sigh) movie The Sorcerer’s Apprentice (WHY?) in Tribeca.

More photos of Nick devouring a pickle here.

Minotaur Man can hear you laughing.

Here we see the rare Minotaur Man in his natural habitat, the Renaissance Fair.

Courtney Love on her way into the Roberto Cavalli show in Milan.

If you think the above photo of Courtney Love is terrifying, then do not click here. But you should click here to see the rest of the photos. I think.

Thanks: Dlisted.

Welcome to My Nightmare, Alice Cooper. For NP.

Alice Cooper and Rob Zombie will be hitting the road together starting in April. The Gruesome Twosome Tour kicks off in April 26 at the MTS Center in Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada. Here are the rest of the Canadian dates for the tour, (US dates coming soon) thus far.

Apr. 26 – Winnipeg, MB – MTS Centre
Apr. 27 – Saskatoon, SK – Credit Union
Apr. 28 – Edmonton, AB- Rexall Place
Apr. 29 – Calgary, AB – Corral
May 01 – Vancouver, BC – Pacific Coliseum
May 02 – Kennewick, WA – Toyota Center
May 04 – Casper, WY – Casper Events Center

In other very metal news, Alice Cooper recently told Rolling Stone that a musical version of his 1976 record, Welcome To My Nightmare, is in the works. Cooper says the production will be an “all out rock version” of the record.

Eddie is doing his part to help, won’t you?

The March issue of Men’s Health Magazine contains a list of the most drunk cities in the US. Seattle was given a C+ for our current level of intoxication. For SHAME! Although we did one-up Spokane (C) and flat out beat Portland (D+), there is clearly room for improvement my fellow Emerald City boozehounds.

The biggest shocker on the list was that Boston received the dubious honor of being the “least drunk city”. SACRILEG! Although Boston’s sober status kind of makes sense since I don’t live there anymore.

The study based their findings on uplifting data such as death rates from alcoholic liver disease, booze-induced accidents involving motor vehicles, hospitalizations due to binge-drinking, and DUI arrests.

To see where your city ended up on the list, click here.

Why, why, why, Delilah…? For LP. Photo by RDK.

In a lengthy interview with Britt Rock Magazine Classic Rock, Joe Perry continued to mystify the world of rock ‘n’ roll with his bizarre list of singers who he says could possibly replace Steven Tyler at the helm of Aerosmith. The latest victim is 69 year old Tom Jones. Said (yawn) The Perry:

He’s got a great set of pipes, so why not? I’ve played with him before, and know he could bring something extra to the band. We haven’t approached him yet, but if he were interested that would be great. Imagine the interest Tom would generate.

Last weeks Aerosmith rumor mill also included the horrifying notion that Sammy Hagar might step in while Tyler is on hiatus. As if we all didn’t suffer enough with over a decade of Van Hagar. Oi!

The latest issue of Classic Rock, The Last Days of an American Rock Legend featuring Joe Perry on the cover, is out now.

Wrongfully convicted? Not likely…

I guess spending money on two forever eyebrows was more important than finding a good lawyer. Good job Johnny!

Source.

Tattoo of Nickelback vocalist Chad Kroeger singing into a penis microphone. Yes, really.

This tattoo exists because the owner of the ink job, that depicts Nickelback vocalist Chad Kroeger in his natural habitat singing into a penis, lost a bet. Take that Nickelback. I think…

Source.

Steven Tyler rocks the PA mike at Home Depot. Meh…

Steven Tyler hijacked the PA system of a Home Depot in Rancho Mirage, California, yesterday, and sang parts of “Dude Looks Like a Lady” and “I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing”. This gig follows up Tyler’s surprise appearance at Karaoke Night at now world famous Tilted Kilt Pub in Palm Desert, California last week. Which is exactly what you would think someone fresh out of rehab would do for fun. Right?

Full story here.

Keith Richards gives up booze?

Keith Richards hasn’t touched a drop of alcohol for over four months, according to a  source close to the 67 year old Rolling Stone. Recently Courtney Love said she wanted to compare her liver to Richards as they live “similar lifestyles”. And while that request would be enough for anyone but me to stop boozing, apparently it was band mate Ron Wood’s downwards trip down the hooch-hall-of-shame that caused Keef to stop calling his best friend, Jack Daniels.

More plus photos of Ronnie “I swear I don’t drink anymore” Wood leaving two different bars in London last weekend via Holy Moly.

Thanks!: Dlisted.

Bloodbath, directed by Stephen Reedy. A companion short to Winter Stalker.

If you ask me, being subtly threatened with bloody mayhem is a great way to get someone to buy a t-shirt. If you’re in NY and happen to be covered in blood (it happens), get to the ZEROFRIENDS retail store at 437 East 9th. As of January 30th, Zerofriends will take over the Upper Playground space and assault you with an appalling array of amazing merch.

Now, back to the star of this post, Bloodbath! As with the Winter Stalker video there will be a contest. The winner of the Winter Stalker contest got a signed Alex Pardee print so in the case of Bloodbath, crime does pay. More details will be announced on February 4th.

More info via Zero Friends.

Bloody hell on the DSquared runway in Milan, January 19thm 2010

Don’t throw out your blood-splattered clothes from last year yet!

More images from Dsquared2 Men’s Fall-Winter 2010/2011 collection in Milan here.

Machete Trailer in Lego HD. For NPD.

Danny Trejo Lego Machete will fuck you up! The actual film Machete, staring the real Danny Trejo (who will also fuck you up), is due out later this year.

More on Machete here.

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Gardens and Gun. A magazine for people who love to shoot things in a plot of cucumbers.

First, let me answer a few questions you might have regarding the title of this post:

1: Yes, Garden and Gun is a real magazine currently, if not surprisingly, in publication.

2: The equal number of males and females over the age of 48 that subscribe to Garden and Gun have a net worth of nearly $2m (yes, millions). G&G readers have the means – and the motivation to live well! According to a direct quote from the Garden and Gun website.

3: Yes, Garden and Gun is a real magazine. (See #1).

If you’re still not convinced that Garden and Gun is a real magazine, just listen to this testimonial from a G&G subscriber as she describes the feeling she gets when her new issue of Gardens and Gun has arrived at the doorstep of her beautifully restored early 18th century Georgia mansion that once belonged to a plantation owner:

Last night as we walked into the house, my husband grabbed the mail and said” G&G came today.” Elation ran from the top of my head to my toes with a flutter stop in my chest. I heart this magazine. It give the South that I love a voice.

And that voice says “I am a woman (or a refined man) who can shoot anything that wanders into my victory garden in the head with my .38 Special, remove the shrapnel in record time then, fry it up in a pan and serve it for dinner.

This is a magazine for the Enjoli Woman. If you’re not her, then step…

Swinging North Carolina couple looking for good times. He enjoys Bi, unless another man is involved. She enjoys Bi because her husband tells her she better enjoy it.

Source.

Elvis and Neko. So good together…

Recording for the Ghost Brothers of Darkland County, a spoken word and musical collaboration between splatter expert and horror novelist, Stephen King and John Mellencamp, is complete. The almost finished product has now been handed over to legendary musician and producer T-Bone Burnett for it’s finishing touches.

In addition to Costello and Case, Rosanne Cash plays the role of a mother who’s marriage to her husband, played by Kris Kristofferson (!) has descended into a dark, disturbing place. When it’s done, the 2-plus hour performance will be released as a book with two CD’s of the spoken word script, as well as a third CD of the accompanying music.

Thanks to LP for the link.

My New Pink Button. Temporary dye for your labia. $29.99.

You might remember a while back I blogged about how you could color your coochie like a M*therf%cking rainbow. Well now, you can dye your labia to match your sweet pink muff.

My New Pink Button is a dye that temporarily restores color to your tunnel of love. The “Bettie” color will make your girlie parts look like your favorite lipstick (!) while the “Audrey” will give your vagina a “bold, burgundy-pink” color.

More via My New Pink Button.com.

Thanks!: RDK.

Religious potato – Cross Revelation!

While preparing their New Year’s Eve dinner, an Iowa woman found a cross shape inside a baked potato. Naturally, the potato ended up on eBay. As of this writing, the current bid for the Holy Spud is $76.

On Christmas Day (naturally), a police detective in Ohio discovered that his potato was not only loaded with vitamin C (true story) but also bore the distinct image of a crucifix.

Detective Dennis Bort’s Holy Cross potato.

Despite listing his potato on eBay for $1000 (free shipping!), Bort has not received any bids.