Florida Congressman (D-Florida) Alan Grayson hands the GOP it’s hat on the Senate floor yesterday. For K.

Dear Congressman Grayson,

Please take the President out for a beer. First round is on me.

Thanks,

Cherrybomb

PS: I bet Nancy will come if you ask her. Just don’t tell Biden.

Supernews, Glenn Beck Apocolypse. So close to the actual show it’s hard to tell the difference.

Despite the fact that AT&T was one of the 46 sponsors that pulled advertising from Beck’s show on Fox News, the mega Telecom seemed to have no problem being one of three major sponsors for Beck’s upcoming keynote address at the Michigan COC Annual Address. Both UPS and State Farm Insurance have also provided financial support to Beck’s address scheduled for tomorrow, September 15th.

More at Think Progress.

Free Library to close 54 branches by October 2nd, 2009.

Unless budget funds are made available, all 54 branch locations of the Free Library in Philadelphia will close on October 2nd. Free Library released this statement late last week:

All Free Library of Philadelphia Customers,

We deeply regret to inform you that without the necessary budgetary legislation by the State Legislature in Harrisburg, the City of Philadelphia will not have the funds to operate our neighborhood branch libraries, regional libraries, or the Parkway Central Library after October 2, 2009. Even as we remain hopeful that the State Legislature will act and pass the enabling funding legislation, we wanted to notify all of our customers of this very possible outcome.

If you can help or want to learn more, visit Free Library’s Myspace as well as their Facebook site.

“Patriot” protester in DC yesterday.

Estimates for yesterday’s protest in D.C. put the crowd somewhere between 20,000 – 30,000 people. A far cry from ballpark estimates of 2 million that were predicted by 912.org and conservative columnist Michelle Malkin via her Twatter Twitter.

Not too long ago, I took a break from reading “the news” because it was making me feel like James Dean in Rebel Without a Cause. After all the negative events from last week (including the Bellevue School system’s ban of President Obama’s address on September 8th), I’m having a hard time finding my happy place. Even in my own backyard.

Anyway, make sure you check back starting tomorrow (or even later today) as I’ve got a ton of stuff to lay on you that I’m sure you’ll dig. Meanwhile, I’m going to snap out of my funk by starting Happy Hour a little early today. Not only is it noon somewhere, it’s actually noon in Seattle right now. True story.

Posts will be slow today as I’m boozing working on redesigning the site. Thanks for your patience and stay tuned.

Gene Simmons says Walmart is OTAY!

Gene Simmons recently blathered all kinds of nonsense to one of the worlds ultimate shit-rags, The New York Post. Simmons barfed about his love of Walmart and his thoughts on Health Care Reform. Here’s the verbal poop straight from Gene’s gigantic piehole:

Simmons’ on KISS’s exclusive deal with Walmart:

They’re terrific. They give 2.5 million people jobs. It’s like America. Not everybody loves America. Say, ‘America,’ and see what happens.

That’s funny. I bet if you asked some of those 2.5 million people to use one word to describe Walmart, it would rhyme with space truckers.

Simmons’ on President Obama and Health Care:

I voted for President Obama, but his health care plan is a complete disaster. When I was growing up, it was ‘Make Love, Not War,’ and that’s great, but what if the other side wants to make war?

Oh shit! What does that even mean, Gene? And since we’re on the topic of things that qualify as complete disasters, let’s talk about that dead cat on top of your head. All wigs-gone-wild jokes aside, of course Simmons thinks the current plan to reform  Health Care is a “disaster”. Simmons lives in a world where he can easily afford plastic surgery for life for his entire brood, to say nothing of having access to the best health care money can buy. Not reforming Health Care in the US would ensure things stay just that way, so of course Simmons is adverse to any change in Health Care’s status-quo. And that’s not okay when your elderly neighbor is cutting back on insulin because she can’t afford not to.

Joe Perry likes to kill his own food. Food tastes better when you kill it yourself, doesn’t it? For LP.

In the August issue of Outdoor Life, Joe Perry admitted to his lifelong love of hunting. In the interview, Perry also confesses that he owns 40 or 50 (what he’s not counting?) handguns as well as other vintage flintlocks and rifles. Perry has even been hunting with Sarah Palin’s biggest fan, “conservationist” Ted Nugent. Sez The Perry:

Hunters are conservationists and their heads are in the right place. I’ve hunted with Ted (Nugent) and he’s just amazing, When it comes to walking around in the woods with Ted, you always learn something.

Queue Peta SVP Lisa Lange and her angry vegan keyboard in 3, 2, 1…:

People who take out their aggressions and frustrations on helpless animals are usually compensating for other shortcomings in their life. We don’t know how Joe measures up, but it’s interesting that he seems to feel so satisfied when he’s handling long phallic-looking weapons.

You know, I have to admit, when I read Perry’s interview I was kind of surprised. It’s hard to believe that Perry, a Republican that voted for John McCain in 2009 would actually turn out to be a gun enthusiast Friend of Ted. Seriously people, until Joe goes deep into the right-wing abyss and starts writing books about how to change the the world for the better through the power of God, guns, and rock “n” roll, I’m not going to sell him down the river. I am however going to avoid the woods of New Hampshire while wearing my deer antler helmet.

Happy Birthday Joe! I hope you blew out the candles on your birthday cake with your mouth this year…

We hate everyone! Including bit-torrent freaks!

Really Penn State?

Love for all, not some. Do not fuck this up Washington State.

After a review of the 137,000 signatures collected to get R-71 on the November ballot, approximately 16,000 were found to be invalid. The law, that would have expanded domestic partnership laws in Washington State, was supposed to take effect on July 26. R-71’s opposition campaign put that on hold.

Despite the question of legitimacy regarding the 16,000 signatures, as of now, R-71 still considered to have enough “legitimate” signatures to be included on the ballot. If the referendum does appear on the November ballot, the law would take effect only if approved by voters Nov. 3. That means if you don’t want Washington State to take a giant step backwards in the fight for equality for ALL, you must vote to approve R-71.

I’ll be blogging updates of this issue every step of the way so stayed tuned.

One of many “Where’s The Birth Certificate” billboards around Buena Park, California.

This billboard comes from the monster-shouters of DC based WND.com or World Net Daily. WND recently ran a story about a woman who is suing President Obama claiming that the President is really a man named Barry Soetoro. According to Dr. Penny Kelso (now that’s scary), Barry Soetoro was born in Indonesia. The lawsuit also names Nancy Pelosi and Howard Dean as defendants.

Hold me close, tiny Pole Dancer.

What more could an aspiring stripper want?

Source: National Post.

Really Philly…?

Michael Vick just signed with the Philadelphia Eagles. The two year deal is worth $8 million. 

IT’S TOO FUCKING HOT!!!

Actually, that photo was taken three hours ago. My bad. Now it’s probably more like HOLY HELL IT’S TOO HOT!, degrees Fahrenheit, PLEASE MAKE THE SKY AND AIR STOP BURNING ME!, degrees Celsius.

Thanks to AFJ and the tasty JB for the photo.

An image from my favorite dream about Michael Vick….

…nope.

Apparently NFL commissioner Michael Goodell has a similar case of amnesia when it comes to Michael Vick as he conditionally reinstated the dog murdering Quarterback this week. Already, numerous NFL teams like the 49ers, St. Louis Rams, Jacksonville Jaguars, Buffalo Bills, Miami Dolphins and Washington Redskins, have already released statements saying they are just not interested in signing Vick to a contract.

I covered this story pretty heavily when it broke in 2007. But when word came of Vick’s conditional reentry into the NFL couple of days ago, it made me so sick that I wasn’t able to write a coherent word. But that was yesterday and today is a new day. So here are a few choice words I feel most accurately describe my feelings on the latest developments in this story:

Fuck Michael Vick. Fuck Michal Goodell and FUCK THE NFL.

Exactly my thought on 2012…

Dr. Pepper Schwartz, Professor of Sociology at the University of Washington in Seattle, wrote a dead-on take on what makes Sarah Palin tick. Or should I say, why this bitch ticks us off so much. Below, Schwartz delves into Palin’s recent rambling resignation speech to make a point regarding one of Palin’s key downfalls; her extreme narcissism:

Her speech about “Not being a quitter” just because she was deserting the governor’s office in mid-term, was a miracle of contempt for her audience. Her desire to stay on the road and in the spotlight without consideration for her large young family, a special needs baby and a teenage mother of her grandchild, is ambition without the slightest nod to other’s needs. She is as ruthlessly self-indulgent and narcissistic as any man ever born. She reconfigures my previous thinking about gender and narcissism.

This article really struck a cord with me, especially since “Screech” (as my liberal-minded Father refers to her) was just on the cover of TIME Magazine with the words “THE RENEGADE” emblazoned across her photo. A word generally reserved for a higher echelon of human being. People like MLK, Nelson Mandela or Ghandi. Is Sarah Palin a renegade? Only when it comes to her unfiltered, non-fact-based communication style and her penchant for shooting stuff. An activity generally reserved for her male counterparts. Or Dick Cheney.

I implore you to read the rest of Dr. Schwartz’s article, and then figure out what you will personally do to ensure this woman gets nowhere near the White House (or any other house with a zip code outside of Alaska actually) in 2012.

Thanks to AFJ for the fascinating, yet horrifying link…

Mark Muller of Max Motors. Quite possibly the biggest douche of the week. And it’s only Monday.

A few years ago, Max Motors in Kansas City held a “buy a car, get a handgun” promotion. The promotion was a success so this year, the Max Motors decided to offer free AK-47 to customers who purchase an automobile from the dealership.

According to Mark Muller, the President of Max Motors, customers will receive a voucher to a local gun store. Redemption of the voucher will be subject to a standard gun purchase background check. Muller says this is to ensure the AK falls into the (not a typo) “right hands”.

Now get this, at about 1:18 into this video, in what can only be described as one of the classiest moves by a used car salesman (and that’s saying something) Muller justified his company’s AK-47 promotion with this wild statement regarding Byrd and Melanie Billings. The couple that were murdered in their Florida home last week while eight of their 14 adopted children were at home. Says Muller:

How about that guy that just had him and his wife that had the 12 children (the couple actually had 16 children, 14 of which were adopted) with the seven guys coming through the door, I guarantee that guy (presumably Muller is referring to Byrd Billings) wished he had an AK-47 (right, except “that guys” dead so now we’ll never know).

And I guarantee that Mark Muller just reserved his spot in Hell right next to Ted Nugent.

WBCN, The Rock of Boston. TV commercial from the 80’s featuring morning DJ, my old boss, Charles Laquidara and Steven Tyler of Aerosmith.

My first radio gig was at WBCN, 104.1 FM in Boston. I was lucky enough to work with veteran jocks like Ken Shelton and Charles Laquidara. While ‘BCN has always, mostly been a commercial station, and it’s been through the ringer when it comes to format changes and face-lifts, it’s historical relevance when it comes to broadcast radio can’t be dismissed. WBCN was the shit during it’s heyday.

On Tuesday, August 16th, WBCN will switch to an Internet-only format. It will be replaced by Mix 98.5. Mix will be taken over by The Sports Hub.

And for reasons I can’t explain, some 20 years later, this news makes me sad.

Lita Ford at Rocklahoma in 2008. Photo by Mark Weiss.

In a Rolling Stone interview from earlier this month, Lita Ford said that Joan Jett’s manager offered her $1000 for her “life story”.  While Jett is an active participant in The Runaways biopic, Ford says she has nothing to do with the film. Which sucks because Ford was a member of the seminal girl band until The Runaways broke up in 1979. More on the flick, due out sometime in 2010, here.

Lita’s new record, Wicked Wonderland, her first studio record in 14 years, is due out sometime this Fall.

More on Lita here.

Hi. We hate you.

While it looked like Maine was on it’s way to equality, the state chapter for Stand for Marriage collected over 55 thousand signatures in the hopes that they can overturn the bill signed by Maine Governor John Baldaci in May that legalized same-sex unions in the state.

Dave Carroll and the Sons of Maxwell, United Breaks Guitars.

Despite eyewitness accounts that United Airlines baggage handlers carelessly smashed musician Dave Carroll’s $3,500 dollar 710 Taylor guitar, the airline refused to foot the $1,200 repair cost. So Carroll wrote a song about it. Response to Carroll’s United Breaks Guitars has been so huge that the airline now says they will now work with Carroll to make things right.

More on Carroll here.

Glenn Beck and Michael Scheuer send the Fox New bat signal to Osama Bin Laden.

Michael Scheuer is not only a professional douchebag, he’s also an ex CIA agent who led various CIA divisions dedicated to Bin Laden. In a videotaped message from 2007, Bin Laden himself referenced Scheuer and his book, Imperial Huberis.

Full transcript and more at Daily KOS.