Job? Don’t need one! Girlfriend? Already have one (see Wendy’s tattoo). Dad? Supportive of choices (see middle finger tattoo). Cholesterol? Don’t know what that is. Heart attack probability? Sometime next week, if not sooner. Looking like a complete tool at all fucking times? Priceless. Or at least what it costs to get all these fast-food logos tattooed on your knuckles.