Trick or Drink is not really a question as much as it is a genuine need. Jones Creepy Candy Corn Soda.

Okay, I’d be lying to you right now if I said I didn’t drink any of this little black beverage (which actually looks like Mountain Dew) tonight. I poured a splash of this Candy Corn Soda by Jones in a cold shot of Vodka, and still couldn’t finish it. And I love booze. So much so, I mourn Booze’s passing by any vessel that isn’t my own mouth.

If you want to experience the horror of my mouth right now, which I will assure you is still wildly delicious despite my previous comment, and you don’t have any Jones Candy Corn Soda, just toss a teaspoon of Vanilla extract into a shot of Vodka. The foreboding tombstones printed on the bottom left of the can will then come into play as you’re screaming, “WHY  DO YOU HATE ME VANILLA, WHY???!!!”.

While you casually open a beer and simultaneously thank GOD you’re not driving (and not just because you just opened a beer), please be happy knowing you never done drunk that candy-corn-shit-in-a-can in the first place. Not like me and my sad, angry vanilla-flavored mouth. True TRUE! story.

Venom Halloween Costume: FAIL! Man, Woman, Pat? In any case, FAIL! In other words, NOOOOOOOOO!

Behold, the first documented case of an all black ensemble not being as slimming as promised. True story.

Paul Lynde Halloween Special, 1976.

Paul Lynde, KISS, Halloween! Man, I was so born in the wrong era.

Viva la 1976!

The Misfits, Horror Business, 1979. For Noah.

In addition to The Misfits 1979’s record, Horror Business, it’s also on the creeptastic 1996 Misfits compilation, Coffin Box.

Okay kids, it’s time for another amateur night Halloween and the obligatory “look at these crazy fucking pumpkin’s” post. Anyway, I expect that plenty of you will end your night just like these pumpkins did. Me? I’ll be celebrating quietly with my friends George, Tom and Bub.

More vomiting gourds after the jump. Now, JUMP…!

Read the rest of this entry →

Colin. The $70 Zombie movie.

…okay, you can’t actually make a film as great as Colin, after watching this trailer for the Zombie flick Colin and subsequently all the other clips from the movie on YouBoobTube, I think the key to making a successful $70 film might be to never hold the camera steady. It worked for Blair Witch, right?

Indie director Marc Vincent Price’s (his real completely awesome name) lower-than-low-budget Zombie thriller, Colin, has been lauded at Cannes and the film was nominated for The Raindance Award at the 2009 British Independant Film Awards. Marc Vincent Price is my new personal hero. True story…

Christina Dallas, Portrait from the Observation Room, #2.

Stuff like this ALWAYS! never happens to me after a Halloween party.

For more on Brooklyn artist Christina Dallas, click here.

Thanks!: BLORT!

Lady de Guadalupe Casket. $895. For Cherrybomb who is so tired that she thinks this looks like a great place for a forever nap.

Holy Day of the Dead! This Lady de Guadalupe Casket, now available for your Walmart Wish List or ahem, Registry (which actually makes sense, it’s good to plan ahead. Or for, let’s say tomorrow around 3:00), retails for $895.

The Winkie, the cleavage cover-upper. For K.

I know two things about The Winkie:

1: The Winkie is not a thong.
2: The Winkie was  not created by a man.
3: Cherrybomb can’t count.

The fascist boobie-haters behind The Winkie, say they came up with the idea to “cover cleavage and provide a solution to plunging necklines.” Both of which I’m sure haven’t been formerly identified as “problems”, per-say. World Hunger? That’s a problem. Unemployment rates at an all time high? That’s a problem. Being out of Vodka? Definitely a fucking EMERGENCY! problem.

Anyway, who could possibly be anti-cleavage? That’s right, nobody. Unless you’re an ass-man. In that case, carry the fuck on.

KISS Meets the Phantom of the Park, 1978.

Nothing this cool ever happens to me when I’m wondering through a haunted Amusement park on Halloween. Anyway, this clip from KISS Meets the Phantom of the Park (one of my all-time favorite Halloween/anytime flicks) has everything. Flying robots, laser beams, fire breathing blowhards demons, cheezy porno music, Kung-Fu and, uh…KISS!

Spat Solver. The Ultimate Argument Resolution Device. $19.95. Thanks!: RDK.

Sadly, Spat Solver isn’t a real product. Which also means that the handy Apologizer isn’t real either. FML.

Vintage 1970’s Kid’s Baretta Costume.

Parrot not included.

Mickey Rourke out trick or treating in Hollywood last night.

If you read this blog, you might have noticed that is has been rather “Rourkeless” as of late. Well the dry spell is officially OVER! Mickey hit the town last night in Hollywood looking 100% less leathery than usual. I’m not real keen on Rourke’s wonky vag-stash, but I’ll give his mime ass a pass just for coming out to play for the paps last night. I don’t know about you, but my day is always a little bit better if there is a little Rourke in it. True story.

More photos at Dlisted.

Russian Circles, Malko. From 2009’s

Hold on to your roof Neumo’s! Russian Circles will attempt to blow you off on November 18th. The awesome Helm’s Alee opens.

More on Chicago’s Russian Circles here.

Sharing the Wealth, oil on canvas by Mark Henson.

It’s hard to believe that Fear Hope and Love is California artist Mark Henson’s first solo-show. The thought provoking show runs through December 23rd at the Meta Gallery in Toronto.

Deborah Harry photographed by Rankin – and ‘remixed’ by Damien Hirst.

70 portraits of musicians like Ian Brown of the Stone Roses, The Gossip, and Joe Strummer, taken by London based photographer Rankin, will be auctioned off on November 14th in London. All the proceeds will be donated to Youth Music, a charitable organization that helps provide musical instruction and experiences to children throughout the UK.

You can take a peek at 29 of Rankin’s rock stars via this photo gallery at NME.

What in the name of Led Zeppelin? Floor tickets for Bon Jovi’s O2 residency selling for $300!

Now before you go blaming some greedy Peter Grant type promoter for this shocking ticket expenditure, don’t. And that’s because the members of Bon Jovi actually approve the ticket prices before they go on sale. Floor seats for Bon Jovi’s 2010 June Residency in London at O2, will tap your spandex ass for nearly $300 while other not so hair metal seats will run you between $60-$110 bucks. Which is also too much for Bon Jovi.

Chuck Biscuits hitting it for Black Flag circa 1982.

Chuck Biscuits, a timekeeper who was a cut above most, passed away on Saturday at the age of 44 from throat cancer. In addition to Black Flag, Biscuits musical collaborations run the gamut from Danzig to Run DMC. Rest in peace Chuck, I will miss hearing your turbo charged quad-beat-three.

Thanks to Noah for the link.

*3:17 PM PST UPDATE: Sources close to Biscuits’ family are reporting that Chuck is alive and well:

Chucks family has not been notified of a death. Normally they are told if their brother or son is sick or dead. A rumor started in August about cancer, Chuck was fine then too.

I’ll keep you posted as reliable information becomes available. Thanks to Noah for the update.

7:40 PM PST UPDATE: Chuck LIVES! According to Blabbermouth.net.

Worst Halloween Costumes Ever…

Not only are these Sharpie DIY Halloween masks horrible, they are also a poor substitute for ski masks. You know, the kind a sophisticated criminal might wear if they were attempting a B&E (street for breaking and entering). Which is exactly what these two brain surgeons were doing when they were arrested last Friday night in Iowa.

Demetrius The Clown from Titus Andronicus.

I saw Green Stage’s production of Shakespeare’s tragedy Titus Andronicus and thoroughly enjoyed every blood-splattered minute of it. There are only three performances left, including one on Halloween. Best of all, the show is free! Donations are gladly accepted because fake blood isn’t cheap!

More on Green Stage here.

Thanks!: Julia