Bad for business: when the Band hands the mic the Brand.

I’m sorry Joe. But you should be too. For LP.

Until I hear the ink is dry on this one, I’m going to pretend like I never wrote the title to this post, much less published it. Or saw this video where Joe Fuckin’ Perry lets it slip that the band may release their upcoming record exclusively through Walmart.  Likewise, I’m going to ignore this article in Rolling Stone. Please, Say it Ain’t So Joe! Aren’t the boys from Boston above doing business with a company so fiercely opposed to the Unionization of their workers, that it employs an Anti-Union Rapid Response Team to deal with worker “uprisings”?

Still not convinced the marriage of Aerosmith and Walmart is a shiteous idea? The 9th Circuit Court just gave the green light to a $1.6 million dollar class-action lawsuit, filed by former and soon to be former Walmart employees. The lawsuit cites the company’s consistent practice of underpaying female employees and not promoting females to management positions. Despite the fact that women comprise 72% of the company’s workforce. Walmart is also one of the only major retailers in the country that still does not offer domestic partner benefits. Walmart’s business model should make you cringe  – it’s prices do not care about the cost of putting your Mom and Pop out of business. It’s important not to forget this tradition.

The 100 largest companies in the word are able to control 70% of the worlds trade. Walmart is one of those companies. This year, Walmart was ranked #2 on the Fortune 500 list and the company’s revenue topped $400 billion dollars. This makes it easy for Walmart to employ egregious business practices because it’s just cheaper to pay off workers they abuse, harass, underpay, or lock in the store overnight.

Aerosmith is rock ‘n’ roll and the band has been a musical obsession of mine for as long as I can remember. When I was growing up in Somerville, Massachusetts (jealous?), Aerosmith had a gig space a few blocks from my house. Joe Perry was the type of guy who would throw around a football with us neighborhood kids, even while the band was selling millions of records (during this era, Done With Mirrors and Permanent vacation collectively sold over six million copies ). The always affable Tyler was like your attractive not-too-old Uncle who, while telling you to stay in school, still managed to be that same rock star your mother told you to stay away from. Aerosmith is one of those bands that if they kicked off a massive summer tour tomorrow, without some big label push or new material, they would sell out every 50,000 seat, corporate-owned shithole in Everytown, U.S.A.

So why Walmart, Toxic Twins? Some 37 years later you still have the world by the balls and can do whatever you want, whenever you want. You will always be “The Bad Boys from Boston,” but getting into bed with Walmart could cause that iconic statement to take on a whole new meaning.

Related Cherrybombed stories:

1. Joe Perry: Tom Jones “Would Be Great” For Aerosmith…
2. Lawyers for Steven Tyler Say Lawsuit Possible If Tyler Is Replaced…
3. Joe Perry: I’m Still Working on Aerosmith. With or Without The M@therf#!king Rainbow…
4. NOOOOO!: Joe Perry – “Steven Tyler Has Quit Aerosmith”…
5. Joe Perry On Aerosmith’s “Indefinate” Hiatus: “We Need Some Time Apart”…