Live Blogging: The Last Presidental Debate… 0
Here we go…
6:03:
As if we didn’t know, the first thing out of McCain’s mouth is Nancy Reagan. Topic on deck is how the candidate will fix the floundering economy and housing crisis. Proposes that we take $350 million to buy up the bad mortgages. Wants to put homeowners first. Takes a swipe at Paulson. Obama counters by not wishing an ailing Nancy Reagan well, choosing instead to address the question. Obama is wearing a power tie! Drink!
6:08:
John McCain is looking at me. I feel cold. I wonder if Joe the Plumber is also Joe Six-Pack?
6:11:
In talking about tax breaks for small businesses, McCain accuses Obama of wanting to spread Joe the Plumber’s money around himself. McCain says Joe should be able to keep his money. Joe needs more money for six packs of beer.
6:14:
Question on deck, the deficit. Bob Schaefer tells both candidates that their deficit plans are flawed. Oh snap! Bob Schaefer takes no shit!
6:20:
Schaefer interrupts McCain and asks him to please answer the question. McCain then rips off an Obama quote from the first Presidential debate when Obama said McCain’s recommended spending freeze is like using a hatchet instead of a scalpel. Then he talked about a planetarium. Laser Floyd! Wheee! Drink.
6:24:
Obama says that McCain has shown key independence in distancing himself from his party especially when it comes to policies on torture. McCain counters by saying Obama’s argument for standing up to his own party is not convincing.
6:26:
Question on deck? Um…I’m not too sure but Bob Schaefer is trying to force the candidates to address the negative tones of each of their campaigns. McCain calls Obama out regarding the comments made earlier in the week by Congressman John Lewis. Says he will run a truthful campaign. Obama counters by telling McCain that 100% of his ads have been negative. Says the average American is less concerned with “our” hurt feelings than the issues. Says he would like to see each campaign get back on track and talk about issues that are important to the people.
6:34:
McCain makes a last ditch effort for Arizona by mentioning he was watching the Arizona Cardinals game the other day. He went on to say that while watching the Cardinals game, he was forced to watch Obama ads attacking his heath care plan. Impresses on Obama to denounce John Lewis’ comments. Obama calls McCain out by asking why McCain’s running mate, Sarah Palin, did not attempt to stop his supporters calling out things like “Kill Me” at Palin’s rallies. McCain then says that there a lot of things that are shouted at Obama’s rallies that he does not like. Talks about t shirts and hats. Then says that Obama has still not repudiated comments then says something about tshirt and hats again. McCain not only does not acknowledge the comments that were made at the rallies over the past two weeks, he deflects the question entirely by getting very pissed off. He tells Obama to come clean with his relationship with Bill Ayers and ACORN. John McCain just lost the election. Then End…
6:39:
Even though he could, Obama never mentions that John McCain was ACORN’S Key Note Speaker in 2006. I need a drink.
6:43:
Next question on deck, why would the country be better off with each candidates running mate. Obama says that Joe Biden watched his dad lose his job, has experience in the Senate with the 1991 Crime Bill and a good sense of where the country needs to go. Says they both agree that the American people a break. McCain counters by reminding people that Sarah is a Governor, talks about autism. Never says that Palin is up the task of running the country. Says the word Reform three times! Drink!
6:48:
Bob Schaefer asks for a specific number from each candidate regarding the reduction of foreign oil during the first year of their Presidency. McCain uses the word unilateral. Unilateral is McCain’s secret drinking word! Drink! Obama says that that in 10 years the United States can be free of our dependence on foreign oil. Says we can’t drill our way our of our problem. Obama is looking right at you when he says that. I’m pretty sure we should believe him.
6:53:
McCain says he admires Obama’s eloquence but you need to “listen” to what he is really saying. Talks about free trade agreements that Obama has opposed. Says that Obama has never traveled South of our border, talks about drugs that are killing our kids. Says free trade with Columbia is a “no brainier”. What the fuck is McCain talking about? Obama counters with saying that he does not support free trade with Columbia due to human rights violations. I just said DUH out loud. Drink! Also says that we need to hold the auto industry accountable and help American car makers manufacture highly-fuel efficient cars here in our country.
6:57:
McCain says that there is no doubt that Obama wants to restrict trade and raise taxes. Says that the last President that tried to do that was Herbert Hoover. Someone McCain probably knew personally. Tee-hee!
6:58:
Question on deck is the Health Care system. Obama reiterates his plan. McCain says the escalating cost of health care is inflicting harm on American families. Talks about his $5000 health care credit. Which will help nobody. Says he wants to hear more about the fines Obama wants to impose. Then when Obama tries to address McCain’s accusation, McCain looks at him and says “excuse me?”. Then McCain snickers again and writes some more with his big black marker. Obama calls out McCain’s plan as inadequate as the average health care plan for a family costs at least $12,000. McCain then counters by talking about Joe the Plumber again. I’m not sure why.
7:05:
McCain just talked about a $12,000 gold-plated health care plan that involves plastic surgery. I think he’s talking about Cindy McCain’s plan. Botox for everyone! Drink! Bob Schaefer tries to stop McCain from rambling by touching him with his finger. I kid you not. Thankfully, it works.
7:09:
Question on deck, could you nominate a SC judge that you disagree with. McCain says he will find the best judges in the world. The WORLD! Drink! Says his litmus test is the judges support of Roe vs. Wade. Obama says he would not provide a litmus test and says that Roe vs. Wade was the right decision. Says many of the rights we have should be subject to popular vote. McCain then goes on to state Obama’s voting record on abortion. Calls partial birth abortion “bad” and reminds people that Obama has voted for a woman’s right to have an abortion in this circumstance.
7:15:
McCain is pissed. Says Obama is eloquent again. Calls his view on abortion, “extreme”. Says he will never cease to protect the rights of the unborn.
7:17:
Question on deck, education. Obama says we need to get our education system “right”. Wants to recruit an “army” of new teachers with higher pay and make college affordable for everyone so college students don’t have a mortgage before they buy a house. McCain says education is the civil rights issue of the 20th century. Wants to find “bad teachers” and get rid of them. Says the worst schools systems get the most money. Wants to allow military personnel to become teachers without testing. Say what?
Hi – Redd Davy Kidd here. Apparently, Cherrybomb is human. She plays the tuba, and had a sudden parade to attend to, where the John Louis Salsa hymn, “American Diarhettics” must be played to provide a soundtrack to Senator McCain’s Educational response, which was mostly gaseous, and called for an expelling soundtrack for local republicans, who suddenly realized a need to relieve themselves to the absurd fucking douche-baggery coming out of McCain’s mouth.
OK – she’s back, and fully relieved…here she is…
7:25:
McCain is talking about Autism again. He is pledging to find a cure to Autism. Where is Denis Leary when you need him? Obama tries to answer the question on deck about the role of federal governments roles in schools but McCain interrups hims and chuckles a lot.
Closing statements:
McCain begins his closing comments with the words “my friends”. Says we can’t be satisfied with the last eight years (!). Says 9-11. Says he wants to be a careful steward of your future. Says he has spent his entire life in service to his country and wants another opportunity.
Obama says we are in the middle of the biggest economic crisis in our century. Says he will bring fundamental change to America. Says our brighter days are still ahead. Says the words “middle class”. Drink! Says the policies he will bring to the White House are the same ones he has fought for his entire career. Says he will work tirelessly for our future and the future of our children.
Bob Schaefer closes by quoting his mother “Go vote now. It will make you feel big and strong.” I couldn’t agree more. See you on November 4th…
