Don’t I wish Saturday was May 16th…

I think the best news I got this week was that Prince is playing Bumbershoot in Seattle this year. Which made it difficult for any other news this week to be important to me. Except for John Edwards endorsing Obama. Which makes me bring up an erroneous point for this post. If you are an American Citizen, are over the age of 18 and you don’t vote, you are a complete douchebag. You know who you are.

Man, I need a drink and I need to Get The Fuck Out, precisely in that order. How about you…?

Friday, May 16th:

Reggie Watts, the other Human Beat Box…

Reggie Watts
The Triple Door (second show on Saturday)

Screw being a triple threat, Reggie Watts is at least a 10 on the richter scale. If you’ve seen Maktub live, you know what I’m talking about. But then again, everything Watt’s does is pretty mind-blowing. On May 30th, Watt’s shares the stage with the equally mind-expanding, Apes & Androids at The Bowery. Lastly, since I still have The Stroke on the mind from earlier this week, here’s Watt’s waxing-off about, Blow jobs. I think that’s it. Blow job. Okay, I’m done.

Hairbangers Ball. Come on and feel the Illinois…

Hairbangers Ball
Durty Nellie’s (Chicago)
Speaking of blow-jobs, the ensemble known as Hairbangers Ball (Chicago) will be at a place called Durty Nellie’s tonight. And since I can’t stop laughing at their Myspace Bio, I thought I would share. Why should I have all the fun? Anyways, HB vocalist, Tyler Steven looks way more like Brett Michaels so I’m deducting douche-points for that. I mean adding douche-points, sorry. And since I rarely stop jawing about Aerosmith, the A-Smith cover band, Draw the Line, will also perform tonight at Mardi Gras in Rhode Island. And unlike HB’s Tyler Steven, DTL’s vocalist Neill Byrnes is a ringer for Tyler.

Saturday, May 17th:

Thee Emergency, Operation Bright Pink. Solid is out now.

Thee Emergency (CD Release)
The Hands
King Cobra
A whole month of Thee Emergency and a Saturday night with Hands other than my own? Yes, please. Besides, pink was always my lucky number.

Jared Clifton can FLY…

Jared Clifton
The Shanty Tavern
Jared Clifton within stumbling distance of Cherrybomb? I like the odds on this one. Whatever that means…

Bug Nasties and Autolite Strike, The Comet, May 18th.

Bug Nasties
Autolite Strike
The Comet

Monday, May 19th:

Langhorne Slim and his war drum…

Langhorne Slim
The Tractor Tavern
I loved Slim’s EP from 2006, The Engine, to death. Especially the single, Honeypie. The new Langhorne Slim, When the Sun’s Gone Down, sounds a lot like Honeypie. Which means, unless you’re dead, it’ll make you move. Bluegrass from Brooklyn? Sure it could happen. And in the case of Langhorne Slim, it did…

Looking Ahead:

Heavy Metal Harmonica strap-on…

Heavy Metal Harmonica IS Nicky Shane. Nicky Shane is also the proud owner the harmonica tool belt  (emphasis on the word tool) above. Nicky Shane can play the harmonica faster than anyone else in the world according to The Guinness Book of World Records.

Shane is also the only person to ever hold the title of worlds fastest Harmonica player. It’s lonely at the top…

Something tells me that Steven Tyler, who launched his own line of harmonica’s last year, was out of town when Guinness came knocking on Nicky’s door. Anyways, on Friday, May 23, Nicky Shane and his heavy metal harmonica play the Ventura Theater, Ventura California. If you can’t make it out to Ventura, check out the amazing video for Heavy Metal Harmonica. Of course, by amazing I mean amazinging bad. Dang…

By the cautionary words of Professor Griff, Ventura, you have been warned…

Juliette of The Licks proves the bad girls always get to wear the best outfits…

Juliette and the Licks at the San Francisco Oyster Fest. Yup. That’s about right. Chuck Prophet is also on the bill.

Now Get The Fuck Out already. It’s totally time for Pie…