Iggy Pop destroys his copy of Love Cats just for fun…

You know, I wasn’t going to do this birthday brawl, since it just didn’t seem fair. I’m sure the same thought occurred to you when reading the title of the post. Don’t worry, though. Robert Smith (who turns 49 today) is a lot tougher than his red lipstick and love-struck-lyrics would lead you to believe. Trust me. The Iggy Pop vs. Robert Smith birthday brawl is on…:

Robert Smith loves foreplay…

Hotter Song Lyrics that are probably about Sex:

Robert Smith: Sex Eye Makeup.

You can find Sex Eye Makeup on Smith’s 1983 side-project The Glove and their only release, Blue Sunshine. The Glove is the collaboration of Smith and Steve Severin of Siouxsie and the Banshees. Ever the poet, Smith’s Sex Eye Makeup is one sexy curve-ball of confusion. Take your teeth out for this one, indeed…:

I think that I’m Jazzy like Christ
one more cigarette and the car burns slow
burning like the body Waiting at home
throw out your teeth and call all your friends
someone coughing took away my breath
inches of glass all shiny and new screaming laughing-
fucks me to death one more boy full of writing white mice

Microphone stand penetration by Iggy Pop

Iggy: Penetration.

Penetration is from the 1973 Stooge classic, Raw Power. I’m pretty sure Penetration is about sex. Okay, I’m totally sure it’s about sex. Why? I’ll let Iggy explain that by way of Penetration’s straight forward hither-come-fuck me lyrics:

I feel fine, every time, penetration. Penetration. Penetration. Penetration. Penetration.

Advantage: Iggy. Iggy does not fuck around when writing songs about fucking around.

More Bizarre Cover:

Robert Smith. Closet Hendrix enthusiast…

Robert Smith: Jimi Hendrix’s Purple Haze

The Cure originally released their cover of Purple Haze in 1993 on this schizophrenic comp, Stone Free, A Tribute to Jimi Hendrix. The Cure later released the single on the Join the Dots box set. The Cure also recorded a cover of Foxy Lady for the Deluxe Edition reissue of 1973’s Three Imaginary Boys.

Iggy don’t need to stinking cone bra. Lid Magazine number Three…

Iggy: Burning Up (Madonna 1983)

Iggy performed Burning Up with The Stooges at the 2008 Rock and Roll Hall of Fame show at Madonna’s request. Igg then launched into a nutty version of Ray of Light that is so horrible it had to be horrible on purpose. Backstage Iggy runs into Madonna and she pretends like she doesn’t want to stab him in right in his leather face. It’s awesomely awkward.

Advantage: Iggy. Covering Madonna is totally bizarre. Even for Iggy Pop. Pissing Madonna off while doing it? Priceless.

Best TV Moment:

Iggy Pop as Mr. Mecklenberg from the Adventures of Pete and Pete

Iggy: Played the cool sweater wearing Dad, Mr. Mecklenberg on Nickelodeon’s The Adventures of Pete & Pete. The show debuted in 1993 and ran for only three seasons. P&P was totally awesome, featured music from bands like REM, Ministry and Luscious Jackson and random appearances from actor Steve Buscemi and L.L Cool J.

Robert Smith does South Park

Robert Smith got animated for the South Park episode “Robert Smith Saves South Park.” Smith morphs into Smithra (a giant moth) and defeats the evil Mecha-Striesand robot.

Advantage: Robert Smith. Because like Cartman says, “Robert Smith KICKS ASS.”

Nastier Rumor:

Robert Smith: Who the fuck is Ashley Simpson?

Smith: Back in 2007 webzines and blogs went wild reporting that Smith was collaborating with Ashlee Simpson on her new record.

Iggy Pop. Clap Queen…

Iggy: Nico (or Christa Paffgen a Warhol muse who performed with The Velvet Underground) gave Iggy the clap.

Advantage: Smith. Even though the rumor was completely false, the thought of Robert Smith collaborating with any Simpson other than Ashford’s Simpson, thoroughly freaks me out. Besides, Nico really did give Iggy the clap per Iggy’s own, graphic admission in the book Please Kill Me.

Current Respiratory Status:

Iggy Pop. 100% punk rock.

Iggy: 61 and still 0% body fat.

Robert Smith. Still Hot, Hot, Hot…

Smith: Robert Smith does not age.

Advantage: Iggy. Come on. You didn’t think Robert Smith was really gonna win this one did you?

This entry was posted on Monday, April 21st, 2008 at 6:50 pm and is filed under Cherrybombed, Happy Birthday, Iggy, Music, Musicology, PornoSonic. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.