Ultimate Fighting and Tramp Stamps for Kindergartener’s…
Ultimate Fighting for Babies!
The bare-knuckle-dragging sport of Ultimate Fighting has come to your kid’s kindergarten class. If you live in Missouri that is. So far, Missouri is the only state that says it’s okay for children as young as six to engage in organized, youth fighting.
The 11 boys and one girl on the team range from 6 to 14 years old and are trained by Rudy Lindsey, a youth wrestling coach and a professional mixed martial arts heavyweight.
In most states the activity would get you a misdemeanor charge. In Oklahoma it’ll get 30 days in the clink. Anyways, don’t tell Tommy Bloomer there’s something wrong with youth fighting. Bloomer’s two kids (ages 11 and 8) are a part of “Garage Boys Fight Crew“. Bloomer says the demented version of Kiddie Fight Club provides positive reinforcement to kids. By teaching them how to defend themselves in the gym, instead of on the streets:
Positive reinforcement by Fight Club…
“We’re not training them for dog fighting,” said Bloomer, a 34-year- old construction contractor. When they get out of the cage, they go back and play video games together. If they get in trouble or get bad grades, I’ll hear about it and they can’t come to training.”
Wow. Training kids to fight in cages? What kind of Pavlovian on-line school did Tommy Bloomer drop out of? Let me be the first person to nominate Tommy for “Father of the Year“. And I hope Tommy wins. Because I’m afraid if he doesn’t win, he might send his 11-year-old kid over to beat my kneecaps off. With his bare hands.
Tramp Stamps R’ Us for toddlers at Toys ‘R’ Us…
In other redneck parenting news, you can now pick up a sweet “Tramp Stamp” temporary tattoo at Toys ‘R’ Us for your little tramp-in-training. Because it’s never too early to start turning your kid into a whored out version of yourself.
Thanks to the Red Davey Kid and Breitbart for the ultimate linkage…
