Dr. Pepper Loves Axl, Might Not Be a Real Doctor…
Some Dr. Pepper with that Jim Beam? Not this year…
The folks behind Dr. Pepper have said that if Axl Rose releases Chinese Democracy anytime in 2008, everyone in America will get a free can of Dr. Pepper. Except for Slash and Buckethead. But why harsh on Buckethead, Dr. Pepper? Isn’t it enough that he wears a bucket on his head and he’s a complete douchebag? No? Right. I agree with you Dr. Pepper. Even though you taste like fizzy cough syrup that won’t give me a buzz, fuck Buckethead. Let him buy his own refreshing beverage. Here’s some of the crazy-ass press release from Axl’s #1 fans over at Dr. Pepper…:
“We completely understand and empathize with Axl’s quest for perfection — for something more than the average album. We know once it’s released, people will refer to it as ‘Dr Pepper for the ears’ because it will be such a refreshing blend of rich, bold sounds - an instant classic.”
Rich, bold sounds? An instant classic? How drunk was everyone at this marketing meeting? Was everyone popping Jäger shots in their coffee? Anyways, it’s a pretty safe bet that Dr. Pepper won’t be giving away any Dr. Pepper this year. How about just giving Axl a Dr. Pepper in exchange for his assurance that Chinese Democrazy is really never coming out. That’ll work for me.
Thanks to Billbored (no that’s not a typo) for the link…
March 27th, 2008 at 1:14 pm
Why not offer up free hummers or a free visit to a den of inequity? At least that would get Axl Rose’s attention. But offering the world a Dr. Pepper if the album is released? WTF? Now if they only had a mixer that would actually go with that ilk then Axl might go for it…Now where are those execs at Jack Daniels (sorry CB I know it is a brown liquor but I can’t think of anything else that actually might pair with Dr P and actually not make it taste like ass) offering up some free bottles?
March 27th, 2008 at 1:15 pm
Or is Dr. Pepper Axl Rose’s “safe word” hmmm…
April 8th, 2008 at 1:27 pm
[...] with all the original Gunner’s including the musically reclusive, Axl. And while rumors of Rose’s Chinese Democracy are being fueled by Dr. Pepper, the possibility of a G ‘N’ R reunion just might happen. [...]