Tattoos of the Drunk, Part II
I’ve never been a fan of saving the best for last . I mean what is “saving the best for last” all about anyway? Screw waiting. Give me that good shit now. That way, the vodka that comes in the plastic bottle on the bottom shelf won’t taste so bad later. Not that I ever drink that swill. Wait a minute…what were we talking about? Oh right…
I thought I would follow up my last post on drunk tattoos with one of the best tattoos I have ever seen. And by best I mean this tattoo of Bart Simpson makes my eyes bleed. And not just because I’m trying to claw my eyes after looking at it…:
I have never wanted to not see something more in my whole life. I’m also pretty sure this tattoo also serves as a potent chick repellent but then again, getting laid is not at the top of this guys list.
Uhhh…I got nothing. There is nothing this dude could say as to why he got this tatt that would make it okay. When I first saw it I thought it might be a PS job but then I saw the moles on Homer’s arm and shirt. And that’s exactly when I threw up a little (okay a lot) in my mouth.
Star Wars: A tattoo is Forever you Freak…:
There are whole sites dedicated to people with Star Wars tattoos. Here are just a few of the more hideous ones:
Fucking Wookie. Why? It looks more like an angry, hairy turd with eyes.
This one you might have seen before (above) as it’s been around. Or maybe this is the first time you saw it. If it is the first time you’ve see this then, you’re welcome.
Hello Kitty has it’s own category for this post but this Darth Vader Hello Kitty tattoo is right where she belongs. Which brings us logically to the Hello Kitty tattoo part of the entry:
Hello Kitty: Having a Hello Kitty tattoo makes you a total pussy.
So like I was saying, there is no shortage of Hello Kitty tattoos out there. Hello Kitty has a whole site dedicated to the madness and marketing that is the Hello Kitty empire. People are always coming up with mods to the original Hello Kitty image when it comes to tatts. Check out Cherrybomb’s current favorite, Hello Kitty Christ:
The bleeding holes on the paws of Hello Kitty Christ is classy but pales in comparison to the words “Is My Jesus“ on this Vic (above photo). I mean, if you love Hello Kitty and Jesus that much now, you will never regret getting a tatt like that. Right? And while I’m on the topic of never being regretful…
No way is she gonna regret that tattoo. Not in a million (five) years from now. Not now (okay, now). Not ever (five minutes after this photo was taken). Besides, regrets are for losers. And clearly, Miss Kitty (above) is no loser.
Food: There is not enough beer in the world…wait a minute. I guess there is.
You could fill a decent size book with photos of people with tats of FOOD. The ones that follow are just the tip of that demented culinary iceberg…:
I guess that’s a cheeseburger but I can’t really see the burger because it’s almost as green as what appears to be “lettuce” below it. The crown and the halo with the little candy corns floating above it are awesome though. I mean, this is high art. You know, something you saw when you were high and thought, “that is awesome“. But then, when you’re not high anymore and you have a tattoo of a cheeseburger with a crown, halo and floating candy corn on your arm or leg (not that it really matters but I can’t tell, can you?) things are not as awesome as they once seemed. Which brings me to the next photo:
So this is supposed to be an ode to the delicious combo of Za and Beer. The pizza in this tatt looks more like a couple of severed appendages. I’m also pretty sure the artist who did this tattoo was drunk when they did it. Or really mad at who ever they did it to. I mean, just looking at this tatt makes me feel drunk. Anyways, one last food item on the list here. And I guess I lied a little when I said I don’t like leaving the best for last…:
CORN! Corney-corn. Delicious, genetically modified corn. Cornholio. Okay, I’m done.
