Happy Birthday Keith Richards. You are now officially one year away from those sweet Medicare and Social Security benefits. And I’m thinking going from $21 large to $12 a month might not work for you. So save your money. A hit single don’t last forever. Anyways, here is Cherrybomb’s birthday wish for Keith Richards. First, have drinks with Mick and then go to the loo while David Bowie watches. After that, play a sold out, two-hour show in Brazil. Later, after two bottles of Porfidio, promptly fall out of a coconut tree during the third encore. For the fourth encore, proceed to have sex with at least five hot 20-somethings and Patty Hansen. On a Tuesday.

Goddamn, it must feel good to be a gangsta’. Keith is a Man above all men. Seeing the Xpensive Winos back in the day (or 1993) is still one of Cherrybomb’s favorite rawk experiences ever. Keith is the coolest of the cool and the lickiest of any human (man or animal) to stroke the neck of a Fender (and a truck-load of Gibby’s). Keith, I love you more than my own eyes. May your tongue grace the netherworld skin of the perfect virgin on this blessed night.

Cherrybomb Wreckommends:

Talk is Cheap
Sticky Fingers
The XPensive Winos - Live at The Hollywood Palladium

This entry was posted on Tuesday, December 18th, 2007 at 10:15 pm and is filed under Bullshit, Cherrybombed, Culture. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.